Forever Rebel
by Eyeofthestorm123
Summary: I've always thought she could never be anything except the predator, but as I look into her feral eyes and witness the look of shear terror pinching her features its become obvious. She is the prey now. (Galeniss)
1. Chapter 1

**THIS IS BOOK 2 OF THE FOREVER SERIES! That being said I wouldn't read this if you haven't read the first one yet. I mean, you still can, I'm not gonna stop you but if you don't read the first one then you will be extremely confused.**

 **Anyway...hi. I know this is immensely overdue and I'm so sorry for taking so long but its here now! If you've forgotten what happened last book (I would have if I were you) then you can read the quick summary below but if you remember then you can skip it.**

 **Alright, so pretty much Gale and Katniss were together before the 74th games but she went along with the act anyway, Peeta and Katniss won, Gale and her broke up after she got back, then they got _back_ together and the story picked up the morning of the Victory Tour. Katniss left, shit went down, she came back, blah blah blah, (I hope your memory is coming back now) Katniss found out she was pregnant, her and Haymitch made a plan to help her while she was in the games, Katniss and Gale were reaped for the Quarter Quell. More shit went down but towards the end of the games Johanna, Beetee, Finnick, Katniss, and Gale teamed up. They were told about the rebellion, Katniss confessed the whole truth to Panem, they blew a hole in the arena, and she blacked out before they could escape. Next thing you know she wakes up, Gale's there, they're in District 13.**

 **In the epilogue we find out that Katniss is pregnant with a girl.**

 **Some more vital info to remember:**

 **\- Sense not all Victors were reaped and it was just one and then one of their family members the rest of the Victors who were not in the Quarter Quell are still in their Districts.**

 **\- The girl from District 9 "won" the Quarter Quell.**

 **\- They want to keep Katniss safe so they've been laying low with things concerning the rebellion until she has her baby.**

 **\- Katniss isn't too happy with being in District 13.**

 **\- Cashmere is in District 13 with them and currently hates Katniss' guts for killing her husband Tate.**

 **If you have any questions or need more depth information just P.M. me. If you don't have an account you can ask in the reviews and I'll answer in the A/N next chapter. Again, I'm so sorry this way overdue!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **(Note: The image used for the cover is not mine)**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Complications.**

I watch in a daze as the silver ring whirls out of control, its chain winding around the object like a snake would coil around its prey.

Gale's family ring.

It's one of the last things I have from District 12. Everything else about my home seems like a distant memory. That it's entire existence has simply vanished within these past four months. No one ever talks about the other Districts much, unless it's for battle strategies or updates on what's going on but, even then, it's never exactly what I want to hear and now the ability to confirm our family's safety has been snatched away.

I slap my hand down on the spinning ring, laying it flat against the cool surface of the table before hurriedly slipping it around my neck once more with a heavy sigh.

"You shouldn't dwell so much," a voice slices through the silence. I glance up at Beetee who surrounds himself with weapons, working on his latest invention.

It's become a bit of a routine for us. Every day I skip my classes to come down to his floor where he works alone (weather on weapons or some secret project) and we…well we hang out to say the least. I've gotten to know Beetee better now and consider him a good friend. He's one of the few people who is honest, not intent on feeding me some bullshit lies. We have a mutual understanding not to talk about our personal problems while not being awkward about the elephant in the room which is something I can't say for the rest of _them_...

When the Victor catches my gaze his eyes soften as does his voice. "I'm sure they're alright, Katniss."

"Who would know?" I snap. "District 13's cameras were taken out in 12!" His stare falls downwards at the harsh truth. I let out a breath, sitting back and closing my eyes, reaching for any sort of comfort that I can grab at the moment. I find none.

We've been tracking our families for months, making sure President Snow doesn't make any advances towards them after the Quarter Quell ended. I was authorized access to these cameras whenever I wanted but two weeks ago they're communication was cut for some unidentified reason. After, all I had to rely on were the reports Haymitch would send, updating District 13 on the progress back home and any other details concerning the rebellion _including_ news about Peeta and our families.

Unfortunately, those reports stopped coming. We haven't been in contact with anyone in 12 since. Other than the cameras my former mentor was the only source of communication between here and there but now even that's gone.

He _was_ set to come to District 13 along with the other Victors after the Quarter Quell but all they told me was that something went wrong, forcing him to stay in 12 as a messenger, making no comment on my confession in the games, and act like he has no knowledge on what really happened.

I can't imagine he took to that kindly.

As for Peeta…I have no idea. He's with Haymitch but…

 _What if the cameras were cut off because Snow found out about them? What if he's planning to bomb 13? What if he has my family and is waiting for the right moment to strike?_

As all the negative possibilities consume every corner of my mind a pound of anxiety hits me square in the chest and a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach spreads. Running two hands through my hair, effectively undoing the braid, I allow my head to smack against the table in front of me with a groan.

"Maybe you should go out and relax for a bit. I heard stress is bad for the baby."

I glare down at the table, knowing full well Beetee can't see me but not caring. "Aren't you supposed to be working on your weapons? Or better yet seeing if you can fix the damn cameras so I _don't_ stress!"

He sighs. "Katniss, I know you're frustrated but there's nothing I can do. From what I've gathered the cameras were _destroyed_. Even if I was able to reconnect with its signal there would be nothing to see."

The realization of this punches me in the face…as it does every time. With the shake of my head I sit up, looking towards him. "I'm sorry. It's just…"

"You worry. I understand. Try to keep your mind off it though. Focus on something else."

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes I ask, "Like what?"

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Like all those baby clothes Greasy Sae and Finnick are making for you."

I smile, holding back a laugh. _Who knew Finnick out of everyone could sow?_ "Sometimes I think he's more excited for this baby than I am."

"Well, she is getting close. How far along are you now?"

"About 7 months." My hands subconsciously find their way to my swollen stomach, taking comfort in the large bump. It's the only thing I have control over anymore, because at least-if all else fails-I'll have her with me.

It's when our baby is born that sends me into a crazed, panicked, frenzy. It's when she's out in the real world that forces a powerful shot of adrenaline injected fear to overrun my mind. That's when she becomes more vulnerable, more endangered. A magnet for President Snow's pleasures if you will. She'll just be another piece in his sick, tortured game. A player to be used then rung out to dry before he decides she's worthless anyway and throws her to the dumps along with everything else he's taken from me.

It's become my worst nightmare-her father's to-that if that were to happen to her I could never live with myself. I _won't_ live with myself, and neither will he.

The bond I've formed for her is already the size of Finnick's ego and still growing, coated with a thick layer of extreme overprotectiveness. It's hard enough letting the few people I'm close to touch my stomach let alone the other randoms who feel the need to as well. I feel like if too many people get too close it'll somehow corrupt her…then again my future parenting skills might just do that as well.

With the shake of my head I deny myself the opportunity in straining over whether or not I'll be a good mother. It's (of course) been another one of my top worries to stress about 24/7 for the past few months.

Instead, I focus on the weapon next to Beetee.

"Is that a bow?"

The Victor peers up, taking a moment to push his glasses up as he processes my words. "Mmm? Oh. Yes. It's yours actually. For when you're able to…uh… _physical_ …participate in the rebellion. I pray you don't have to use it much but better safe than sorry."

I nod, eyes gliding over the smooth black weapon. "Can I try?"

He looks momentarily surprised. "Uh, um, well I'm not done with it. Nowhere near finished actually. The one you're seeing is just the basic. I haven't programed any of my latest inventions onto it."

"Programmed?" I inquire with a raised brow. _Since when does a bow have to be programmed?_

"Well yes." A beat. "You'll see later. I haven't done the arrows either, except the normal ones that is."

"Right. But I can still shoot?"

Beetee hesitates once more. "Hypothetically, yes, but-"

"Great." Slapping my hand down on the desk I use it push up to my feet (which, mind you, has gotten harder with the extra weight). "Let's try."

Swiping the bow up in one fluent motion I head out to the spacious training area made for weapon testing, going to stand some ways away from a target. Beetee instantly jumps to his feet, scrambling after me with echoing protests. "Katniss, you can't. You're _pregnant_. It's not safe."

That almost does it.

 _He tells me to focus on something else! Well I'm doing just that and now he's going to try and stop me!?_

My glare is sharp enough to cut through steel, voice dropping low, obviously laced with unspoken threats. "I know _exactly_ what I'm doing. I've been shooting since I was twelve years old. I was fully capable then as I am now. What makes this time any different?"

The Victor winces at my tone but still dares to speak. "Well the fact that you're _pre_ -"

Before he could finish the elevator door slides open outstepping a _very_ handsome young man.

 _Great. More people here to tell me I can't shoot._

Dressed in the all black war General's uniform for District 13 it makes his build look stronger than normal, muscles bulging slightly. He's a sight for sore eyes. Radiating a forceful current of confidence and a sense of authority you can tell isn't completely because of his rank nor can you deny that it's there.

His dark hair lays atop his head in a jumbled mess, obviously having not been given much thought this morning. His striking, liquid, silver eyes give nothing away but underneath they'll tell you a story filled with a tidal wave of emotions, you just have to know where and _how_ to look…that is _if_ he grants you permission.

My heart can't help but constrict at the sight of him, butterflies instantly awakening within my stomach. An alerting thought crosses my mind for a split second though and I shove the bow behind my back but after that all control I hold goes bursting out the window once his beautiful eyes gravitate towards mine and he awards me with one of those certain oh-so-charming grins he allows for me, and only me.

It's always different from the others he gives to everyone else. This one is special, more meaningful, more…personal. Filled with an undying love and what seems to be relief, like he _finally_ gets to see me, he _finally_ gets to be with me as if it's been ages. I love it.

Gracing him with one of my own rare smiles I stand rooted to the spot as he makes his way towards me, arms already open. "How are my two girls?"

If possible my beam grows brighter.

Sometimes I wish he didn't have this affect on me and others I can't help but bask in it because I know it's the same for him and we're both hopeless when it comes to us.

"Good. You?"

From the corner of my eye I catch Beetee shifting uncomfortably between his feet, before mumbling something about "giving us space" and scurrying out of the room.

Gale pulls me against him the second I'm within reach, arms looping around my waist, hands going to rest dangerously close to my backside, not that I mind. "Better than ever," my boyfriend mumbles half-heartedly, capturing my lips with his.

On instinct I wrap my arms around his neck, careful not to let the bow bump him as I tangle one hand through his unruly hair, tugging at the ends.

Our kiss is slow but with all the more passion. Both of us wanting to savior the rare moment where we're alone.

Gale's been working nonstop since we got here. We barely have any time for each other except when he gets back to our room at the end of the day and by then we're both exhausted. For completely different reasons of course, but we're tired nonetheless.

I can't help but let out a small squeak in surprise when he suddenly grabs my ass, giving it a firm squeeze. The smirk forming on his face is undeniable.

The kiss steadily comes to an end with Gale murmuring a soft 'I love you' and leaning his forehead on mine.

"Now," he breathes after a second. "Tell me why you have a bow in your hand."

 _Damn him._

"I-" Attempting to come up with a plausible lie to no prevail I say, "Beetee made this for me and I wanted to try it out. You have no right to give me a lecture about the, and I quote, "risks"."

Sighing, Gale sets the weapon down on the nearest table before tugging me close once more, his breath lightly tickling my skin as he plants a small kiss on the hallow part behind my ear. "You wouldn't listen anyway."

"Damn straight."

I lean in for another kiss but a small beeping sound forces Gale to look down at the communicuff on his wrist with a frown.

"What?"

He shakes his head in confusion. "I thought I had a break but they want me down in the war room." It beeps again. "With you?"

"Me? Why would they want me?"

He shrugs. "Dunno. Maybe just an update on the rebellion. Come on." Taking my hand I allow him to lead me away.

* * *

The war room wasn't as large as I had imagined it but it wasn't small either. A long pitch-black table with papers and maps spread across the surface takes up a large portion while in the front there's a monitor about the size of the wall. Everything else is grey...of course.

A few people file in after us, mostly guards, other than that Plutarch, President Coin, and Beetee occupy the remaining space. "Katniss." Coin gives a strained smile. "I'm so glad you could join us."

"Right," I reply, my tone flat.

While the woman _has_ welcomed us in I still have my suspicions. There's just something about her that is…off. Needless to say I've been a little more hostile towards her than normal which I know for a fact she sees.

Gale doesn't _completely_ understand it but he doesn't fully trust anyone in here anyway so we haven't butt heads on the subject much. Personally, I think he finds it amusing watching my attitude of being particularly difficult towards her then Coin attempting to deal with it while being civil. Which the known fact remains-you can't.

"General Hawthorne."

He gives her a brief nod of acknowledgement. I still can't help but find the name weird. _General_. I'm not yet used to the fact that Gale was promoted to that high of a position. I'm not fully aware of what he does exactly and I don't think he is either. Most of the time he trains incoming soldiers but is still permitted to all the war meetings. I'm guessing his input during that time is valued (he's not one to keep silent when it comes to the rebellion) and that's why they keep him as close as they do. Which is no surprise. I have no doubt he could plan an attack within the hour, on short notice, and it would work out flawlessly.

President Coin gestures towards the door and a second later its sealed shut. "Let's get down to business shall we?"

"Yes." Beetee adjusts his glasses, shifting in his seat. "Lets. Why have you brought us here, Plutarch?"

The former Gamemaker straightens up, clearing his throat. "Well, we have a bit of a…complication…concerning the, um-"

"What he means to say," President Coin cuts in, obviously impatient. "Is that a new problem has arisen within the Districts. We didn't think this would happen but it did."

In that moment she turns to me, looking me dead in the eye with all traces of anything but absolute business completely gone. She gives nothing away. Hiding everything so well even I'm impressed. That is, until she speaks. "To put it bluntly-the rebellion is dying."

* * *

 **If there are any mistakes feel free to point them out!**


	2. Chapter 2: Whatever It Takes

**Chapter 2: Whatever It Takes.**

Gale instantly grabs my hand as if searching for strength as a deafening silence lays atop the already thick air, sucking the life out of my lungs and constricting my chest. I can _feel_ the wheels turning in everybody's mind as they process the horrifying news. I can _hear_ the ticking of time passing by until Snow has complete control over all of us once more. We'll be his puppets and he our master. There will be no room for escape, no possibility of freedom or justice.

I don't speak. I don't move. I don't feel. I don't panic. Nothing. I feel nothing. Like this information is too horrible to be true. It's like another one of my nightmares but this time Gale isn't here to wake me up because he's _in_ it. He's in his hell also.

But I refuse to go down without a fight after we've come this far. I refuse to let our child live in the world as it is now if she even survives. I won't allow our families to suffer any longer. I _can't_ believe that this is it. I can't and I _won't_.

Straightening up, fists clinched, my gaze finds President Coin and though I don't trust her in the slightest I know she'll do what needs to be done. Her eyes find mine, an agreement surging between us immediately along with a mutual respect. I may not like her but we have the same goal, a common enemy.

With a nod I let my voice fill the silence with powerful conviction, "So, what do we do?"

Everyone's head snaps towards me and Gale's hand gives mine a squeeze, an indication that he's with me. "She's right," he says. "We need to figure out what to do. How to fix this. We need more information. Anything of use."

Coin presses a button on the panel at the table, the screen lighting up with a map of Panem. "One of our problems is the girl from District 9 who allegedly "won" the Quarter Quell. We had hoped she would be with the rebellion as did the other Districts but to our knowledge she's been doing everything the Capital orders out of fear for her life, eliminating the idea that she could be of use at the moment.

"Unfortunately, since Katniss' pregnancy we've been keeping on the down low. Everyone thinks you're all dead and after this long without anything to prove that theory false people have begun to accept the worse. Our absence in the rebellion alone is enough confirmation that you are, in fact, deceased which of course is a large blow in itself because you're our Mockingjay, our spark. If Katniss isn't there, if she can't rise up it shows that we've already lost. That the Districts have no hope for change because even their strongest has been taken down. That being said, in a way, the Districts looked to the girl from 9 for support since she was there that day you disappeared but she's with the Capital. Hope is diminishing very quickly which, in turn, results in the death of our rebellion. _But_ we do have a solution, except we need to act fast as in _now_. Though you may not like what we have in mind-"

"Absolutely not!" Gale suddenly protests, stance tense, eyes hard. _What the-_ "If you think for one second I'm going to let that happen-"

"It's Katniss' decision, _not_ yours," Coin replies back just as forceful, her tone suddenly guarded.

"Like hell it is! You really want to risk getting the Mockingjay killed? When she's 7 _months_ pregnant no less. This baby is just as much of a symbol for the rebellion as she is. I can't believe you would even want to- No, it's not happening. We'll put her in front of a damn camera or something but not _that!"_

"Gale-" I start but President Coin ignores me. _  
_

"A video won't work! It shows that she's vulnerable to the Capital. That _we're_ vulnerable. And yes, since she is pregnant that makes her an easier target so broadcasting it all over the world isn't going to help! We need to show that she's strong and if we send her out there, undercover and _protected_ it will do just that. President Snow will never know she even left 13."

Gale suddenly turns to me, anger and frustration wafting off of him in waves as he gestures widely in the direction of Coin. "Don't you see what she wants, Katniss!?"

"I don't even know what _you're_ talking about!"

"Yes," Beetee jumps in, his face a mask of confusion. "Nor do I."

Gale and President Coin begin to explain but Plutarch cuts them both off. "No! Both of you need calm down and stop arguing! This _is_ ultimately Katniss' decision but she can't _decide_ if you two keep fighting!" He sighs heavily, turning to me with wary eyes. "Katniss-as Gale has so _clearly_ picked up on-we have come up with a solution but it does come with its complications."

Gale scoffs at that, crossing his arms across his chest with the shake of his head. I haven't seen him this angry since…

"To put it bluntly we want you out in the field effective immediately. What we've told you is true, the rebellion is dying, the Districts are losing hope rapidly, and the Capitol is beginning to take back complete control. Showing a video of you and broadcasting it-as Mr. Hawthorne suggested-will show how vulnerable you are to President Snow at the moment which doesn't help our case. Besides, even if we wanted to we can't. They've… _branched out_ for extra help, which means ceasing any access for information we had over them. We also have reason to believe that they'll soon be attempting to hack into our database as we did there's for a brief time."

Beetee practically snorts. "They can't do that. I know their network inside and out. No way are they capable of achieving that especially seeing as how I designed District 13's system. It's unbreakable."

"That's what we thought until recently," Coin jumps in. "But this extra help they've obtained has the ability to do whatever the Capitol commands within seconds. You've met your match Mr. Latier."

"But that's impossible. The only-" the Victor cuts himself off, his face suddenly going pale. "No," he whispers. "It-it can't. No. No! She was _safe_. I made sure of that. They can't have taken Wiress!"

The name clicks in my head as Beetee's partner in crime, another Victor. He talks about her often, mostly about their inventions and the trouble they've gotten into by hacking into various systems in Panem. From what I've learned (with the help of Johanna) she's a bit…well not in her right mind the whole time but she's a genius nonetheless.

Plutarch sighs sympathetically, going to place a hand on his shoulder but thinking twice. "I'm sorry Beetee. There was nothing we could do."

President Coin sees the opportunity and jumps for it, only allowing a few seconds for mourning. "And this is exactly why we need Katniss out in the field. The Capital is gaining too much confidence which leads to greater acts towards their end goal-complete and utter control. It's only a matter of time before the Districts give up and follow their lead in defeat."

"My answer is still no."

I scoff, placing my hands on my hips. "What about mine?"

Gale looks at me as if I've grown two heads. "You're not actually considering this, Katniss, are you?" When I don't reply he goes on. "We're talking about throwing you and _our child_ into the field. Peacekeepers, spies, random outbursts of violence everywhere! And with you there? With the people _seeing_ you there's a surefire chance for more uprisings, ones stronger than the last. You'll be in the middle of a _warzone,_ Catnip."

"Isn't that what a rebellion is? Resistance, fighting, _war_. It's inevitable. This is our chance Gale," I plead. "For freedom, for a good, _peaceful_ life for our baby, our _families_. If the hope, the _spark_ for that is dying and this is the only way to fix it I _have_ to do it. Whatever it takes."

He shakes his head. "No. Not this. There's another way, I know there is. Until I find it, damn it, Katniss, don't do anything rash, like _this_ bullshit!"

I close myself off from Gale, crossing my arms over my chest.

Instead of answering him directly I echo my last words, "Whatever it takes."

* * *

 **So, I finally got my computer back. Thank God!**

 **Feel free to point out any mistakes and tell me what you think!**

 **And to one of the guests who reviewed last chapter I went back and changed magnate to magnet. Thank you for saying something! I never would've caught it.**


	3. Chapter 3: Determination

**Sorry this took so long. I had this chapter ready but decided to rewrite it because I wasn't happy with the original. I'm still not too sure about this one either but it's better than the last and I wanted to get something out for you guys.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Determination.**

"There hasn't been any more sightings of the mysterious animal roaming our very streets but researches assure us he or she is absolutely, without a doubt, harmless. It wouldn't hurt a fabulous hair on any of our _gorgeous_ heads! Speaking of hair, our very own newscast is brought to you by…"

A chair scrapping against the tiled floor forces me out of my mindless trance, eyes being torn away from the unspecified spot I've gazing at for the past half hour and to the seat being pulled up next to mine.

Finnick sits down without a word, briefly glancing around the small day room.

It's made for the elderly in 13 but I come here once in a while. It's different from most rooms. The walls are painted a calming yellow, a pool table is set in the back along with various chairs and tables randomly placed about. Only a few T.V.'s reside, mostly so any emergency purposes or protocols can be shown but there's always one which is turned onto some channel in the Capital. There aren't many people (there rarely are in general) which makes it a perfect location where I can't be bothered by others much nor be located in.

Apparently though, the young Victor was able to find me despite that small blank.

Not one to strike up conversation I barely acknowledge Finnick's presence. Instead easily returning to my own world, the only disturbance in our silence being the annoyingly high-pitched voice of Aria, one the Capitol's reporters on their stupid news channel.

It's been six hours since the meeting this morning. All of which I've spent my time attempting to console Beetee (Which was hardly a success. He went to a frenzy of madness, locking himself in weaponry, doing who knows what, until a few soldiers broke in. The last time I saw the Victor he was being sedated and dragged to medical.), having an awkward lunch with Johanna as Cashmere stared me down, argued with the guards after they told me I had to stick to the schedule on my arm, and fought some more with Gale about the ways to handle the rebellion dying.

The frustration of my boyfriend's stubbornness continues to nag me the most and it's become clear in no way is he changing his mind anytime soon.

 _Does he think I don't get he's decision? That I'm somehow oblivious to the dangers? Because that's most definitely not the case._

I understand his reluctance. I _get_ it. But that doesn't mean I agree.

Sure, his reason for not wanting me to go out into the field during this time is completely valid but there comes a time where you have to say enough is enough and throw all caution to the wind. Where we have to decide whether or not we want to risk our child's life or if we do nothing and the rebellion dissolves, leaving us to raise her in a world where so many have died already. Effectively, diminishing all hope for the rest of our families and everyone else in the other Districts.

What's worse? Our child potentially getting hurt or worse during pregnancy while I'm on missions to save the whole God damn continent and make a better life for ourselves? Or let her live here, with the games, and the threats, and the starvation, and President Snow, and everything we've come so far suffering and fighting against?

I'd rather take the risk than force that upon ourselves.

The man beside me shifts, pulling me out of my thoughts once more. I look towards Finnick, observing how he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, as he peers up at the T.V. in rapid interest.

My nose scrunches up in distaste at the sight. "How are you watching this?" I ask, referring to the same woman on the news station who continues to drone on about the Capital's "problems". "Doesn't it make you sick? Hearing about the lives of the very people who watched you kill?"

The Victor doesn't move from his position, simply glancing my way. "When I came of age I spent a lot of my time there with my… _admirers._ After a while their ifestyle grows on you. It makes you feel like you're apart of them but then at the same time you're… _not_." He shrugs. "I don't know. They're so different I find it fantasizing."

"Well I think it's sickening." When he doesn't reply I give in a little, watching in mild interest as Aria jumps to update us, once more, on the strange animal roaming their streets. "It's a squirrel," I note, catching Finnick's attention. "They released a picture of the thing when I came in. Can you believe they don't even know what a damn squirrel looks like?"

His lips quirk up into a half-hearted smile, humming in what is either agreement or amusement before his face drops, becoming serious.

After a moment he speaks. His tone is mournful and quiet as if she's already gone. "I heard about Wiress." He shakes his head. "It's a shame."

Without another word he silently plucks a long thin piece of rope, that I hadn't noticed before, and proceeds to make tiny knots along the string as if it was such a normal thing to do.

"It helps," is all he says to my unspoken question.

It's his pervious comment about Wiress that really irks me though. I try to brush it off, becoming hypnotized while watching him. The T.V., again, is a simple buzz in the background as I get lost in the way his fingers move with such speed, such grace.

Yet his last words still tug at the back of mind and I can't for the life of me understand why until Finnick speaks up once more. "She may not have lived the best, or most _ideal_ life in District 3." He sighs. " _But,_ she was happy whenever with Beetee or somewhere off in her little head."

A flash of irritation surges through me, causing a scowl to take over my features. "You're talking about her like she's already dead. There's still time. This isn't over yet."

Odair halts in his movements, peering up at me with a quizzical look. "She might as well be. Don't you get it Katniss?"

When I don't reply a sudden realization seems to hit him. He leans back with a heavy sigh as if a massive weight was just planted on his shoulders and he has to figure out a way to get it off. "Katniss, this is what President Snow _does_. Takes whoever we have left and uses them against us. It's a given Wiress is smart and can be beneficial to the Capitol. But the second she isn't she's gone."

"What do you mean?"

"Wiress is Beetee's _best friend._ They're like platonic soulmates. One without the other is…weird. Hell, they even finish each other's sentences. Snow _knows_ this. He's using it to his advantage by kidnapping her because Beetee poses as one of the biggest threats at the moment. Wiress isn't just their new hacker but a bargaining chip as well. She's leverage against Beetee. So, that he can image the pain, the torture they're currently putting her through while making her do their dirty business for them yet he can't _do_ anything about it. The thought alone will slowly eat at him, destroy him until he's insane or gives in to their demands. That's always their plan. That's what they're best at. And that's what they'll do. That's what they're _doing_."

It doesn't take a genius to note the distant look in his eyes and the way his voice began cracking towards the end to see he knows first-hand how this all works.

Nevertheless I surge forward, determined to know more. "What happens to them after? Who did they take from you?"

A sick smile slithers across his lips. "No one yet. But I know it's only a matter of time."

A long silences stretches between us and we don't talk after that. Not for a while at least. In the meantime allowing my own worries to come to light.

Surely the same thing is to happen to me. I have everyone except Gale back home, defenseless, mourning, alone. Two families to take care of and we have no idea how they are right now. I know Haymitch and Peeta will be feeding them well but what if something happened now that my former mentor has stopped sending letters? What if the cameras being taken out is Snow's way of slowly but surely taking them from me? What if he already has? What if, any day now, we'll be sent a video of them tied up, reading off of some scripts telling us to give myself up and they'll be released?

No. He'll do it in a more creative way. Publicly but subtly. Not harming them but putting them in the spotlight just enough for me to receive the threat.

As if reading my thoughts Finnick voices his own. "They're fine for now Katniss. You haven't done anything yet-no one has really-that could set them off like that. Your families are probably going to be President Snow's last resort. They're way too valuable of a treasure to be used now."

My stomach churns as his words. Finnick almost acts as if they're not human, that they're just an object to use and toss out whenever he's bored of them.

Another long silence. More lingering questions and doubts. But it's comfortable in an eerie sort of way, both of us wrapped up in own selves to care.

When he finally speaks again though, it's so softly I almost don't catch it, like if he says her name any louder than a whisper she won't be real.

"Annie. Her name is Annie." A small grin threatens to overcome his face. "She's beautiful. Crazy in just the right way. Love of my life. I would marry her right now if I could. She's actually another Victor."

"Annie Cresta," I supply, recalling the name from the countless times Haymitch, Peeta, and I watched reruns of the games while prepping for the Quarter Quell.

He nods, appearing lost in his memories. "We were supposed to meet on the beach the year she was going to mentor after winning, this was before we found she wasn't suited for the job. I looked for five hours. Just wandering around until I tripped over her stupid sand castle. I had passed her up _seven times_ , thinking she was just some kid. You know what she did when she found out I destroyed her 'creation of sand'? Threw a freaking chair at my head. I didn't talk to her for months after. But after a while she kind of…grew on me."

My eyebrows furrow, turning towards him in interest and bumping his shoulder to gain attention. "Did you love her right away?"

"No." He pauses, smiling this time. "She crept up on me."

With that he promptly leans forward, elbows against knees once more, continuing to tie knots in his rope.

If my conversation with Finnick has done anything its fuel my drive to do whatever it takes to win this rebellion. If not for my family than for the people like Annie, Wiress, Peeta. It's not fair for me to sit back, waiting as others take the fall for something I created. We need this rebellion. Finnick needs this. If that means visiting other Districts and putting my life in danger to get it then that's what I have to do.

I'm _going_ to start that spark again and nothing, not even Gale, is going to stop me.

"You'll see her again Finnick," I promise, placing my hands atop his, momentarily halting his rapid movements. "I swear on it."

He never replies, just peers up at me with tired eyes.

But if you look close enough you can see the tiny rays of hope shining through. Small, yet still there.

* * *

 **(See how the 'Did you love her right away? No. She crept up on me' lines are from the books? No? Okay)**


	4. Chapter 4: Conditions

**Chapter 4: Conditions.**

More faces than I thought greet me with awaiting eyes. Some new, some old staring back as I stand in front of them, feeling sick to my stomach despite the fact that my morning sickness has long since made itself present as I became further along in my pregnancy.

I quickly sweep the room, grasping for similarity in anyone. I see Coin and her right hand man, Boggs. Plutarch with an encouraging smile, surprisingly, sat next to Finnick who leans against Beetee's chair (who has, thankfully, recovered from his small break down a few days ago, after hearing about Wiress) with a smirk, twirling a pencil in the air. There are a few soldiers I vaguely recognize along with a large, broad man with a greying beard known as General Odem, Gale's co-worker. As far as I know about him he's in charge of 13's military. The rest are strangers who I can't say that I've _at least_ passed by once in the hallways since we arrived.

"Katniss," President Coin calls softly after a few minutes of nothing from me, her eyebrow raised in question and a look on her face that screams 'get on with it'.

"Right." Clearing my throat, I roll my shoulders back, standing up straighter. "So, despite the controversy with the topic I _have_ decided to go out into the field during and after my pregnancy for the sake of the rebellion." Coin opens her mouth to speak. "But," I interject quickly, forcing her words to die down. "I have some conditions."

Plutarch leans forward in interest. "I'd expect no less Miss Everdeen. We'll do whatever you want as long as it is within our power-"

"No. You _will_ agree and, if need be, _execute_ each and every one of my conditions whether they are within your 'power' or not. And if that's the case then you better work with you have in order to do what I want or I'm out! Understood?"

There's a small pause before everyone around the table nods, somewhat hesitantly. Most are surprised at my flare but it was needed. I rather not deal with any of their bull crap and loop holes today. Either it's my way or no way especially if I'm endangering my baby in the process.

Once satisfied with their silent replies I proceed, voice hard and forceful, leaving no room for argument, "Good. Now let's get one thing straight before we begin. _I_ am the judge of how far I can stretch my limits. _I_ am the judge of what my capabilities are so don't try to stop me from doing something I know I can do. I'm well aware of the risks. That being said if ever or whenever I decide I want to stop or add onto the number of these outings I can do so without protest. If I don't want to do something while in one of the District I won't. While planning these missions you will all keep in mind that I'm seven months pregnant so I expect there to be extra precautions surrounding that subject.

"Fourthly, I want to bring some of the remaining Victors to 13 as soon as possible, where they will be under our protection against the Capital. Starting with Annie Creste, Wiress, and Peeta. Any others will be added to the list as I seem fit. Which brings me to my fifth condition-we _will_ bring my family here along with Haymitch immediately, before President Snow can get his hands on them."

"Miss Everdeen!" Coin quickly jumps in causing her to receive one of my sharpest glares. "You have to understand that rescue missions are extremely risky and could put everyone in dange-"

I slam my hands on the table in front of me, spitting out, "Then you better figure something out before all goes to hell because I am _not_ letting my family just sit there and rot with Snow's threats pressed against their chest every waking hour as they assume Gale, our unborn _child_ , and I are dead! Got it!?" Without waiting for a response I surge forward, determined to be listened too. "While in the Districts I will be granted access to whichever weapons of Beetee's I deem fit. If I'm going out I'm having something to protect myself with."

"Of course," Plutarch agrees without hesitation.

With a curt nod I take a step back, removing my hands from the table.

I suck in a large breath, taking a small moment to gather my bearings while attempting to wipe the annoyed scowl from my face. "My final condition is if anything were to _ever_ happen, whether it be in here or out in the field, you have to swear to me that you _will_ save my baby's life instead of mine. No matter what."

"Katniss," President Coin protests again. "We don't want anything that severe to happen in the first place and you can trust us when we say we'll do our best to make sure it doesn't ever come to that. But on the off chance that it does, we can't promise you anything. You're too important. We need you more than we need her. You're our _Mockingjay_ -"

"And she's my child!" I cry, throwing my arms up in exasperation. "I value her life over mine a thousand times over and if only one of us makes it and that one happens to me, I won't be able to live with myself knowing you all screwed up and picked the wrong damn life! _Especially_ , when you knew as well as I do that she was the better option!"

There's a stunned pause as everyone stares at me with wide eyes, shocked at my, not first but second, abrupt outburst. I only have eyes for Coin at this point though. My gaze drilling holes through her skull, challenging her, _daring_ her to on and deny me what I want.

She stares at with an impassive expression, drumming her fingers on the table in thought before turning to Plutarch.

She doesn't even need to speak for him to know what she's asking. The former Gamemaker sighs, shrugging. "We have no other choice. We need our Mockingjay. We can't just replace her. We could say no and keep her here but that won't do any good. At least if we agree and she does die in the field-which is _highly_ unlikely considering the measures we'll be taking at protection-then at least by that point we've hopefully gotten the rebellion stirring again and take matters into our own hands from that point on."

Coin huffs ever so slightly, not even hiding how much she loathes the truth. "So be it then. We here by agree to your conditions."

My eyes narrow. " _All_ of them?"

She nods. "All of them."

"Then you have your Mockingjay."

As if planned everyone begins to clap. A few, what seems to be, relieved smiles show across the room and as I meet Finnick's gaze he sends me a wink, mouthing out a 'thank you'.

Conversations are struck up but is over as quick as they come when General Odom asks, "What about General Gale Hawthorne? He's not here today yet he's my assistant in the rebellion and your…uh…" He searches for the correct word. " _Partner_. I'd like to think he'd be invited so I don't have to recall all the information we've shared today. Or will you be doing that in your own privacy?"

Once more the attention is directed towards me.

I shift on my feet, the room suddenly feeling suffocating.

"I'm not telling Gale that I've agreed to go to the other Districts. He says it's too dangerous, that I shouldn't risk it for the rebellion, and that there's another way. I, however, disagree. So, for the time being, he doesn't know. I intend to keep it that way until I can shed some light on the subject for him."

General Odom nods respectively as I take a seat at the round table in the war room, finally being able to breathe.

It's been days since Finnick told me about Annie and I made my decision. Unfortunately I didn't quite know what to do from then on. When I talked to Beetee about my doubts he suggested I make them follow a set of conditions in order to insure it goes how I need it too.

It took me a while to come up with the list I have compiled. I tired keeping up with everything mentally but at some point I had to write it down which, in itself, caused problems because my boyfriend could easily have found it.

To my luck though there was some sort of crises with the training of soldiers which resulted in both General Odom and Gale having to be on clock 24/7 for the past few days. They even went so far as to sleeping down in the guard's quarters for the nights.

Since then I've only seen Gale in passing or briefly at lunch when he picks up his food before returning to work. The tension from our fight is still undeniably evident especially because we haven't even gotten the chance to acknowledge it since it happened. We don't know where either of us stand at the moment. I don't know if he's still angry or frustrated or whatever nor does he about me.

I desperately want to reassure him that though I may not be aggravated anymore I still disagree yet have come to terms that we may always will on this subject and I've accepted that.

 _Doesn't mean I don't want him with me through this though_.

Not willing to fall too deep into those kinds of thoughts I look up just in time to see Plutarch silence the buzzing table with a wave of his hand.

He grins, the genuineness of it surprising me. "Now that we have that sorted out I'd like to dive into what exactly will be happening as Katniss goes on these missions. There are some District that we either cannot or don't need to go to. Such as 1 and 2. Seeing as how they are both Career Districts, at the moment, they are too heavily armed and guarded and frankly there's no rebellion to breathe life into because there wasn't one to begin with. I'm afraid if we were to send Miss Everdeen there she'd be captured and executed or worse. Our job right now is to keep the rebellion alive not start uprisings where there hasn't been one. At least not _yet,_ of course. That will come at a later date.

"11 is the only District that is in no need of help. The rebellion is thriving and continues to do so without any sign of stopping. If I were to take a guess on why I'd say it's because of what Katniss has done for Rue." My heart clinches at the sound of her name but I can't help but feel proud that they've kept up their strength.

"We won't have to visit every District right away. After a while news will spread throughout that you're alive and visiting which will hopefully be enough to spark up the not as fragile Districts. Obviously, that means we need to start off with worst which is 9 due to the girl from the Quarter Quell, Bexley Dinah, practically doing the Capital's biding by now. I believe we've already talked about the negative effect she has."

He turns to me. "Katniss, your condition in bringing in the remaining Victor's actually helps us tremendously. We need to get her out of there at any cost. Which is why we'll be sending you to 9 first. All we need you to do is speak with the people, ignite hope while another team grabs the girl. When you depart we'll make sure it's on the day in which the people of 9 come together to exchange grains so you'll have mostly everyone in one place. You don't have to worry about the Peacekeepers. We'll take care of them."

"So…just talk to them?" I question, a bit unsure that it's that simple.

He nods. "The simple act will do wonders, trust me."

"And what about the others? When will I go to them? What about my family?"

This is time it's Coin who answers. "Right now we're only focusing on 9 before planning another visit. We need to see how far and which Districts are affected when news reaches them through whispers along with a few of our spies. Your family however is going to be tricky. They are watched constantly. Snow, no doubt, having surveillance on them of all kinds. With the lost communication we now have with 12 it's going to be rough figuring this out. We'll have General Odem and Beetee on this project to see when the best time to get them out is and how."

"Katniss," Plutarch pipes up, "Do you think you're ready for this?"

The words come flowing past my lips before I even relieve it.

"When do we leave?"

* * *

I run my fingers across the page, feeling the slight bumps in the paper where the pen was pressed down a bit too hard. It's ridiculous really. Collectively creating a whole journal full of baby names when she isn't even Johanna's or Finnick's or Beetee's or whoever contributed to this to name.

We honestly haven't thought much about names in the first place. But more so on the fact of exactly _how_ we're going to raise a baby during all this. _If I even can._

Straying away from those dangerous thoughts and attempting to avoid them completely I lazily glance over the page I'm settled on again. With the roll of my eyes upon seeing Finnick's name scribbled on of the of the lines I snap the small notebook shut, pushing it to the side.

Pulling the covers up to my chin I ignore the fact that I'm still fully clothed and have the desperate need to use the restroom. I can feel myself growing more and more tired with each passing minute which cancels out any plans for getting out of bed no matter how much I need too.

Just as my eyes drupe and my mind begins to slip the unmistakable sound of our apartment door opening jars me slightly. I listen carefully, briefly wondering its some nurse coming to check up on me.

My hand subconsciously begins rubbing my stomach in slow, soothing circles at the thought.

The medics here have been more than a little nurturing since we arrived. Though I know for a fact it has everything to do with me being the Mockingjay.

At least once a week they send someone to come check on my progress. It was irritating the first few times but now I can't bring myself to care.

In a matter of seconds though it becomes clear it's not someone from medical if the rustling of clothes dropping to the floor, when said person comes in, has anything to indicate.

I'm not left puzzled for long when a familiar pair of boots are smacking against the hard floor.

Warily I let out a soft sigh, too exhausted to have this conversation yet again.

I quickly prepare myself for _another_ argument concerning the traveling to Districts but am left pleasantly surprised when no words come. Instead the empty space on the bed across from me dips as Gale carefully slides in, rolling onto his side to mimic me.

He's stripped himself of his uniform jacket and untucked his shirt so it now bunches up at the bottom. I can't deny the fact that he looks _extremely_ attractive right now with his thick messy hair (that's evidence enough to make it a fact he's ranked his hands through it all day) and a 5 o'clock shadow which he's forgotten to shave. It's a mere stubble across his chin and jaw right now but still growing. His rugged state is most likely from the crisis that happened with the soldiers resulting in him being almost non-existent for days but nonetheless it's always been my favorite look.

Dragging my gaze down his body then quickly back up to his face his striking grey eyes finally meet mine and in an instant I know we're both on the same page, too worn out about _everything_ to continue fighting about this stupid rebellion situation which is successfully driving a wedge in our relationship.

I let out a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding, gladly letting our new found peace set in, the silence nothing but tranquility.

Almost hesitantly Gale reaches out, brushing a few loose strands of hair from my face, his movement barely a ghost's touch against my skin.

"Hi," he whispers as if disturbing the silence would be too large of a sin.

"Hey," I reply, matching his tone. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"You know what I mean." Swatting his chest with the roll of my eyes he catches my hand, lightly peppering kisses across my knuckles that causing an involuntary shiver to run the length of my back.

Gale smirks at the noticeably effect. "We were able to sort out the worse of the training mishap so General Odom let me go early. He's just tying up a few loose ends now." A pause. "Besides, I _really_ missed my girl."

Swallowing down the blush I add jokingly, "You must mean the baby. I'm sorry to disappoint but I'm not sure she's missed you at all. Probably relived to get you out of here."

To my surprise he doesn't comeback with some witty remark, instead answering in all seriousness. "No. I meant you Catnip. Always you."

My breath hitches as he lightly traces my lips with the pad of his thumb. I try to recover as fast as I can but it's half-heartily, my voice doing nothing to conceal the husky tone layering my every word. "Do you think that's gonna earn you brownie points or something?"

"I was kinda planning on it." Gale sends me a cheeky grin, wagging his eyebrows for dramatic affect.

I laugh feely more happy about our playful banter being back then anything. I scoot closer to him to plant a small kiss on his lips. My boyfriend's not having it though, his hand shooting up to cradle of my face in place as he deepens the kiss. I let him, basking in the familiar feel of his lips against mine after waiting what seems to be an eternity but, in reality, was only a few days.

He pulls me to him as close as he can with our angle, his fingers rushing to weave through my hair as I run my hand up and down his body, loving the feel of his muscular build beneath my fingertips. Just as I'm beginning to trail kisses down his throat, hand slipping under his shirt an annoying sensation in my lower abdomen hits full force making me pull back with a groan.

Gale's panting by this time, his eyes dark with lust as he asks, "Why'd you stop."

Sliding off the bed and struggling to stand I reply shortly, "Bathroom." Before heading to said place and doing my business.

While exiting though I catch my reflection in the mirror, it getting the best of myself as I stare into a pair of dark grey eyes that could only belong to me.

It's strange how much I've seemed to change since we arrived in 13. My whole figure is fuller, not just the fairly sizable bulge of my stomach. I appear almost older and, well, just… _different_. Like the person looking back at me can't possibly be the same one from last year or even the same girl from a few months ago and I guess both are true. So much has changed. _I_ have changed. Everyone around me, even Gale, has. I just hope it's for the better and everything we've done will be worth it in the end.

Shaking my head to clear the alien thoughts I reach for my toothbrush only to be taken aback by a sudden, sharp pressure. I pause, waiting to see if it happens again.

Sure enough, another comes, then another then another until it's like someone decided to turn the bass up in the music inside my body.

With an eager grin I take off in the direction of our bedroom, knowing full well a certain someone hasn't been able to experience this moment as much as I or the other Victors have, since it began some time ago, because of his long hours.

"Gale!" I call, seeing him jump up at my voice, obviously alarmed. "Gale!"

His face becomes a mask of worry as he rushes to me. "What? What's wrong?! Are you alright!?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just feel." Dismissing his question I hurriedly place his hand on my stomach before the movement ends.

Almost instantaneously a beam larger than the sun lights up Gale's face as he feels the small kicks aimed from the inside. "Holy shit." He shakes his head in disbelief. "I'll never get used to this. It feels so…weird."

"Try being the person actually carrying her."

With a permanent grin he moves his hands across my tummy with a look that can only be described as fantasized. "What does it feel like? I mean, to you?"

I shrug. "It's still a little freaky sometimes. She mostly does it in the middle of the night. It's like a…a muscle twitch or someone flicking you from the inside."

Placing my hands atop his I smile softly, gazing down where we touch. She kicks a few more times before stopping and I wait a few moments before finally deciding she's found a comfortable place to rest.

"I think she's done now."

Peering up I catch Gale's intent gaze. He stares down at me with an expression I can't quite place and a look in his eyes I've seen on multiple occasions, mostly in those little moments where I'm doing something-anything-and he thinks I don't catch the fact that he's staring at me as if I'm his everything.

"What?" I ask with a somewhat shy grin.

"Nothing." He shakes his head before gently taking me into his arms and swooping down to capture my lips with his in a slow, sweet kiss.

He pulls back all too soon, resting his head against mine as he murmurs a breathy, "I'm sorry." So quiet I almost didn't catch it.

Balling the fabric of his shirt in a tight fist to anchor him a bit closer I give him a puzzled expression. "For what?" Though right as the words leave my mouth I figure out how stupid I sound in not being able to realize that we are having _that_ conversation tonight instead of avoiding the subject of our recent fights all together.

I mentally prepare myself as fast as I can, knowing full well this has the absolute potential to not end well…at all.

Thank God I was wrong.

"For overreacting," Gale answers. "For being an ass." He slides his hands to the sides of my stomach, rubbing small soothing circles with his thumb. "I just want you two to be safe, to be out of harm's way at all times. I know it's unreasonable with you being the Mockingjay but I feel like there has to be another solution to winning this rebellion without getting you involved even though I know you can and are fully capable to do so.

"It's stupid, illogical but I want to fix everything for us so you don't have to be put through more crap than you already have. It's not because I think you're fragile and can't do it. Trust me, that's the last thing I think. I just am tired of you getting the short end of the stick on everything. You _deserve_ so much more Catnip. You should get everything you want and even though you don't like sitting back and doing nothing I _still_ want to be able to simply hand that everything to you and say 'here, take it'. But I can't and that sucks so fucking much because _I know_ that would mean winning the rebellion for you yet we won't be able to _without you_ , making it impossible for me to just give it to you no matter how hard I try."

"Which means I _have_ to go on those District missions. You may not be able to hand it all to me but you can at least help in what we _both_ want. You do want this right?" I try to slowly reason with him.

His reply is instant, hurried, as if he doesn't state his point fast enough I'll leave. "Yes, of course. I just worry and I hate that I'm not around as much as I should be and if anything were to happen while you were out I-I don't know what I'd do." He kisses me again, a quick simple kiss but it leaves my insides melting nonetheless. "I love you Catnip. I love _her_ , I love our baby. I just don't want to risk it until you give birth. Even then I'm not too keen on the idea of driving head first into the rebellion all of a sudden but I know what needs to be done and I swear I'll do everything you tell me to and not once object to war business if you just _please, please_ wait to do this until _after_ she's born."

Without hesitation I nod wordlessly, not trusting my tone of voice to conceal the lie I'm telling.

Gale sighs, thankful, as if a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders and I try my hardest not to let the guilt get to me.

"I know at some point you'll have to go out and be our Mockingjay but, dammit Katniss, I can't lose you. It's always been us against the world. Always has been, always will be even if we are coming out of this as a trio." I can't help but chuckle at that, placing both hands on his cheeks and angling his face down to mine so I can get a better look at the passion swimming in his eyes. "Against all odds we've been the one to survive," he continues softly. "To stick together no matter the people who have come and gone in our lives. I don't know much of what will happen in the future but I do know, that whether we go down or become victorious, we'll do it together just like we always have. I swear on it. No matter what it'll forever be…us."

Tears sting my eyes as I practically throw myself at him, holding Gale so tight I briefly worry that he can't breathe but when his arms wrap around my frame, squeezing back I don't care about anything else. "Forever us?" I croak out, just barely holding my emotions at bay.

He nods, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Forever us."

* * *

If I learned anything since arriving in District 13 and discussing the rebellion more with Gale it's that while I know Gale wants nothing more but for this rebellion to work I also know, that if I were at gunpoint and he was forced to make a choice I know he'd pick me in a heart-beat, insisting after that there has to be another way to overthrow the government, that we can figure it out next time and that's what scares me most. That he'd pick me over the rebellion winning and our child's future bettered life that comes along with it. We've discussed this so many times over but he's not budging, saying he needs me too much and that he doesn't want to raise our baby without me, that he himself can't- doesn't want to go on when I'm not there, that it'll be too hard.

While, on the outside, I'm disagreeing I can't say my decision wouldn't be the same if our roles were reversed and I guess that makes our situation all the more dangerous.

But that doesn't change the fact that I have to do what I have to do.

I've already agreed to go out on the missions. Gale has so clearly stated how he feels about this. From tonight I realized there is no swaying his mind on the subject as I had previously hoped which leaves me with one option: to lie. Lie right through my teeth because if he finds out the consequences could be catastrophic in multiple ways.

* * *

"So, with the Districts…" my boyfriend starts, still a little breathless. I lift my head from where it rests on his shoulder, pulling back to watch the glistening sweat slide down his chest.

I take a moment, tracing the outlines of his muscles with admiration. Gale squeezes my bare thighs where they rest, wrapped around his waist in an attempt to gain my attention once more.

I lazily look up at him through my lashes with a light smirk, humming in response.

"After you give birth…"

I know instantly what he's talking about but instead of replying I kiss him. Again and again and again until we lose ourselves in each other and Gale makes me forget my own name once more, the only sound leaving my lips a garbled cry as I cling to him for dear life.

"I love you," I can't help but mumble after who knows how long, my mind beginning to wonder into the arms of sleep. "I love you so fucking much."

The last thing I remember are blankets covering my body, Gale's arms sliding around me. A sweet kiss to the temple, then "I love you too Catnip." Before unconsciousness hauls me away.

 _Oh, yes. I most certainly can't tell Gale._


	5. Chapter 5: Hell Hole

**Chapter 5: This Hell Hole.**

The Victor heaves the large crate of food with a strangled grunt, Finnick helping lift at the other end. They slowly shuffle over to hand it to the next set of people so they can board it onto the hovercraft.

Johanna brushes the invisible dirt off her hands with a scowl, glancing up to where I sit, helplessly watching as various District 13 members load supplies for the people in 9. Her hard expression softens somewhat upon seeing me, pursed lips now the only evidence of her attitude.

She snatches a water bottle from some random worker, sending a glare which quickly stops his protests before striding over to take a seat on the bench next to me. "Here," she offers. "Drink. You'll need it."

"If I do I'll have to use the restroom in 9." I shake my head. "I don't want to go through that especially when we're trying to sneak around. The baby presses down on my Blatter meaning more bathroom breaks," I explain quickly, catching sight of her bemusement.

Johanna nods in understanding, taking a sip of water herself as she joins me in waiting for the Hovercraft to be ready for takeoff.

To my utter surprise, after it was confirmed 2 weeks ago that I was traveling to the Districts, Johanna had immediately signed up for training (which didn't pass Gale's attention since he's a General, but confronting me about my lying to him and with a small lie of her own he didn't figure out the real reason she joined) so she could get a spot on the team involving these outings. When asked she claimed she was done being stuck in this "hell hole" and that she "wanted some action that's finally useful for once". I didn't question further.

Even stranger though, she's become a bit more… _sensitive_ around me. More caring and attentive concerning my pregnancy. All of a sudden it's like she's warmed up and began befriending not just my state but me personally. I haven't the faintest clue as to why, yet I'm not complaining.

I've found Johanna is easier to get along with than I originally thought.

"Soldiers, load up! Squad A, come with me!" A man's booming voice suddenly sounds across the large room as he takes long strides towards the both of us.

Among the troop of soldiers we're bringing on this trip, there's also a separate specialized team who runs the operation while on the ground, at the same time, acting as my personal body guards with Boggs the man in charge.

Upon hearing his voice a small group of four walk my way, circling up around me.

There aren't any faces I recognize other than Johanna's and Coin's right hand man. No one's too noteworthy other than perhaps one buff, middle-aged man who refuses to make eye contact with anyone. Instead, he stands there, body stiff as a board, stone cold expression, and shoulder length brown hair grazing the tops of his eyebrows.

There's a woman beside him with an almost identical expression. This time with a tall (almost past his height), lengthy body, dark skin that's paired with crazed bleached blonde hair. Her curly mane sits at the back of her head in intricate braids.

If it weren't for the arm around her waist, anchoring her body to press tightly into the man's side I would've thought they were robots, void of human emotion or contact. Obviously that isn't the case if their close proximity and wedding rings have anything to say.

The other two look almost boyish. One obviously Japanese and the other reminding me of Finnick (though he's shorter and his eyes are a pale blue). They appear fresh out of training with not much experience. I hope I'm wrong on that front for the sake of us all.

In total there's 7 seven of us.

"Katniss," Boggs' words snap me into attention as he gestures to the two boys I was just studying. The first he introduces being the one of Asian descent quickly followed by the Finnick look alike. "This is Jack and Eng." Next comes the couple. "And Redge and Eliza. You already know Johanna and I. We'll be your personal team on the ground. If anything goes wrong or you're in need you'll come to us. We will be with you every step of the way. _No one_ strays unless forced or instructed-by myself-to do so. Everyone this is Katniss Everdeen. Our Mockingjay, as you know. I'm sure you've reviewed the rules already so don't expect me to get into that.

"The plan here for us is simple. There are two Hovercraft's. The first will disable all cameras and clear a path of Peacekeepers so they're out of our way. Then they'll work on finding Bexley Dinah, the Victor of the Quarter Quell, and relocating her to 13. While that's happening our Hovercraft will land.

"Our job is to get Katniss to the pavilions where the people will be exchanging their grains today. By that time Peacekeepers should've already been removed and we won't have to worry about being spotted. We let Katniss do her job then when I receive the get-go we'll head back. If all goes well we'll have the girl and District 9 will have restored hope in the rebellion." A loud beeping signals on the comms above, alerting everyone that's it's time to depart. "You heard it. Let's get a move on."

* * *

As Boggs said everything has been going smoothly. We landed and got to the wide collection of ginormous white gazebo's spread across the grassy fields without any trouble or sights of peacekeepers. Where and how the previous team took them I have no idea but none of that mattered once we arrived.

The overwhelming sense of hospitality is astounding. I don't know what I expected on how the people were going to react but it was most definitely not this.

At first no one recognized me but slowly, one by one, I began catching people's eye until finally Boggs stood up on one of the tables and announced troops with supplies from District 13 and their "Mockingjay" were here. The place exploded.

Our soldiers began unloading the boxes while I was suddenly bombarded with people. All of them shooting question after question. It was a bit overbearing to say the least but once we got the majority to calm down I was able to walk around, answering questions, making simple conversation, and handing out supplies.

I didn't mind it all too much. At first I thought it was going to be awkward and I would have nothing to offer but Coin was right. Simply my presence seemed to light a once dying fire in their eyes. They seemed overjoyed, eager, curious. I had a few people burst into tears on me. As they cried they talked about how they thought I was dead and hope was lost.

My heart clinched at their words. In those moments every doubt I had about going on these trips were lost because the Districts _need_ this. The people _need_ this. And I can give it so easily.

I smile softy at the woman sitting on one of various chairs lined along the outside of the pavilion. She moves the blanket off the seat next to her so I can sit, shyly accepting the water bottle I offer her. "Hello."

"What's your name?"

"Thalia." She glances down at the bundle in her arms, beaming warmly. "And this is Dame."

I peer over, catching sight of the tiny baby, completely dead asleep, oblivious to the world around him. A grin of my own worms its way to my lips. "He's cute. How old is he?"

"Only two months. I have a five year old running around here somewhere but he's off playing with a few friends at the moment." She notices my stare. "Do you want to hold him? You'll be having to do this not too long from now." Thalia nods towards my bulging stomach.

Shock courses through my system and I suddenly yank back, proceeding to stumble over my words. "O-oh, um, I-I don't know. I don't want to hurt him or do anything wrong or…"

She shakes her head, already pushing Dame into my arms. "Nonsense. Practice is always good. Haven't you ever held a baby before?"

"Well…my sister when she was little but that was years ago."

Thalia smiles, clearly amused at my bubbling nerves. She hands me Dame, moving one of my arms a little so I'm cradling him properly.

He squirms a little before settling down, letting out a long sigh.

I can feel every breath he takes, every slight movement, every single wave of warmth which travel through the blanket. Having such a tiny living being in my arms is…surreal. Even more so at the thought that, in a few months, I'll be in the same position but with my own.

I open my mouth to comment on how precious he is when there's a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see one of District 13's soldiers wearing a troubled expression. My eyebrows furrow in concern. "Yes? What's wrong?"

"Miss Everdeen we need you to come with us."

"Why? We've only been here a few hours!"

"There's been a problem with getting the girl, Bexley Dinah. She, um…" The solider trails off, glancing briefly at the woman sat next to me.

She takes her cue, smiling graciously as I hand her Dame and quickly scurrying off. Once she's gone the man pounces. "She won't corporate. Refuses to even move. She's scared to death, keeps muttering about how if she doesn't do what she's told the Capital will kill her. We need you to convince her to come with us."

"Why me?"

He stares blankly at me for a few seconds before blinking slowly, explaining as if it's obvious. "Because you're our Mockingjay."

As the words pass his lips Johanna buts in, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We should go. The rest can hand out the remaining supplies and you've already done plenty here. We need to get the girl."

Nodding slowly in understanding I glance around the area once more before agreeing.

"Where is she?"

* * *

Johanna, Boggs, Eng, Jack, and Eliza surround me in a practiced formation, other soldier's a small distance away, keeping with our pace. Redge stands by my side, his large palm pressing into the small of my back, urging me forward with the rest of them.

Our knees are bent low, briskly walking through the small Victor's village to the large white house at the end of the street. I walk as I do in the woods. With careful, planned, silent steps. The only sound is my heart in my ears and the labored breaths around me.

"Over here," Redge mutters as we begin jogging to the front door. One of the soldiers halt, knocking five times in a rhythm I'm not familiar with before opening the door, stepping aside to let us through.

I nod my thanks as we pass.

A sudden blast of cool air from the AC smacks us in the face as we enter. I have only a second to assess my surroundings before Boggs answers my unasked question. "In there," he points towards an entrance to our left. "The living room. Quickly. We'll be right outside if you need us."

With a silent thanks I slowly push open the swinging door, immediately sighting what's left of Bexly.

She sits in a rocking chair at the corner of the room with her knees pressed against her chest, dozens of blankets piled on top of her tiny frame. She's too skinny for her own good. Sullen eyes darting around the den every once in a while, occasionally lingering on the few soldiers leaning up against the wall, having been waiting for my arrival. Her pitch black hair curtains most of her face in a tangled mess, hanging in greasy limp strands.

 _What am I to_ do _with her?_

My breath is uneven as I stalk towards her in fake confidence. At the squeaking of the floorboards her head snaps up, powering gaze latching onto my face as if committing every feature to memory.

Realization flashes.

In an instant she's stumbling towards me in a haze, body crashing into mine in a suffocating embrace. My arms instinctively reach out to catch her but it's too late. We both go plowing down. She somehow finds her way into my lap, shaking like a leaf as heavy sobs rack her body.

Her pasty, scrawny arms clench around me for dear life, giving me no choice but to do so back. Her mutters start out quiet, small until they eventually join the waves of cries as she chants over and over again. "I thought you were dead. I failed you. I failed you! I thought you were dead! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I glance to a guard for help but he seems to have the same bewildered expression as I. "I-it's ok," I attempt, hesitantly soothing down her hair. "It's ok."

She shakes her head. "I've ruined everything!"

"Bexly…you haven't, I promise. _Please_ don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong except what Snow has forced you to do. It's all his fault. Don't blame yourself. Everything is-it's ok. We'll fix it. There's still hope. But we need you to come with us. We can _help_ you."

She sniffles, peeking up at me through her long lashes. Not a word passes her lips. She simply gazes with an unreadable expression.

Finally, she nods in silent agreement.

I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Good. Now, you need to listen to me very carefully. Don't take anything with you. Don't say goodbye to _anyone_. We need to leave as soon as possible. No one can know, got it? Can I trust you?"

"O-of course. But…but not them."

Noting my confusion she looks out the window, pointing with a bony finger. I turn just in time to meet three pairs of eyes, staring back across the lawn.

In an instant they're running away.

The soldiers in the room immediately spring into action, hauling us both off the floor while speaking into their earpieces. They push us into one of the walls, farthest away from the window, shielding their bodies with ours.

I grasp onto Bexly's arms, eyes wide. "Who were they!?"

"M-my family," she stumbles, panic pinching her features. "They-they don't understand! They don't want the same things we do! They'll tell him you're here! He'll kill you!"

Before I have the chance to process her words my team are bursting through the door, rushing to me as they urge us all out the back.

"Wha-"

"He knows," Boggs answers, already sensing my question.

My breath is sucked from my lungs as my heart drops to my stomach. My world spins around me in a commotion of blurring colors and wildest fears.

 _Shit! Shit! Shit! He wasn't supposed-this is not-this isn't how this was supposed to go! In and out! Some hours, tops! Not this. Not being caught._

I stumble over my own feet, hand cradling my stomach as if to protect my baby.

 _Maybe Gale was right. Maybe this is too dangerous…_

"Katniss! Dammit!" Johanna yanks me to her, whispering in my ear with such ferocity a shiver runs the length of my back. "Listen to me right now! We're getting out of here! _I'm_ getting you out of here! You need to get a hold of yourself or we're all going to die in this hell ho-"

* * *

 **Can I just say how sorry I am. And how so long overdue this is. Because I really really am sooooo sorry! Thank you to those who have stuck with me and this story. I know this chapter is kinda crap and sloppy but for some reason it was so hard for me to write...I swear the next one will be better...**

 **Anyway please feel free to let me have it. Tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6: Risks

**Chapter 6: Risks.**

Blood splatters across my face in tiny crimson specks just as the tip of a bullet pierces through Johanna's shoulder, cutting off her words with a sharp hiss. Her vicious cry which soon follows suit is more out of frustration than pain. Gun shots slice through the air, knocking a crack in the already tense silence before hell had erupted just moments ago.

There's screaming and the pounding of boots against the warn pavement. There's the clash of bodies and swirls of limbs grabbing out to me from all sides. My team and I shuffle closely together as I'm tugged along blindly, towards the hovercraft no doubt.

Boggs is clutching my arm, yelling into his earpiece. We switch directions at least 3 times per minute, stalking forward a few paces before turning back. Redge stands in front of me, his large frame blocking my view but when he shifts the slightest bit once we change course I catch a blurring flash of pure white fighting with 13's soldier's and instantly know the peacekeepers have caught us.

I try to get another look except my 'bodyguards' are blocking my sight, surrounding my body in a way where no one can see me. It's only chaos and confusion now, nothing more.

My breath catches in my throat as someone lets out a blood-curling scream. A wave of flashback's from the games being to devoir me with its horrors, but I try to mentally push them back, knowing if the past consumes me now we'll never make it out of here alive.

 _Fuck! We shouldn't have come! We shouldn't have come!_

 _But I had to! For the rebellion! For my families!_

 _Dammit! Now is not the time to contemplate my decisions!_

More shots ring out and I hear a thundering clank behind me as the bullets smack against something, most likely steel or metal. I whip my head back in alarm to get a good look but that seems to be my first mistake because the next thing I know a body is barreling into mine, screaming obscenities as we fall.

All at once the ground strikes with the side of my head.

At first everything is black and quiet, until my sight comes back to me and I'm lying atop the rubble, the sounds of war consuming my ears.

The world slants and whirls as if it's a silver platter slipping from a waiter's otherwise stable grasp. My vision acts like gooey tar in which my eyes continuously attempt to trudge through in order to keep up with the whirlpool of fasting events happening around me. I don't see much and the things I do see are quickly lost in my brain as grogginess takes over.

My eyes drupe.

I am gone.

* * *

Golden petals which seem to glint in the lazily hung sun litter the dull forest ground. We trudge along, lost to our own thoughts. If I look up I can just barely catch the top of the brown wooden casket. It's nicer than the ones we use in District 12, smoother, sturdier. Although a lot of people back home don't even get a burial in the first place.

My fists clinch at my sides, teeth grinding in my jaw. For a moment I squeeze my eyes shut, willing my mind to focus on the falling leaves, the snipping cold stinging my cheeks, or the light brush of fabric against my hand when someone around me strays too close. Anything. Anything to use as a distraction. Anything to get my mind off the death of Eliza.

 _It should've been me. A lot of deaths should've been me but it never is._

At that, I can't help but glance over to Gale. He's in uniform, face stricken. My heart hurts at the sight, at the reminder that I lied to him, that someone died because I couldn't wait, that he hasn't looked me in the eye since we got back and I was rushed to medical for my head injury and someone told Gale and he burst into the room seconds later and grabbed my hand and said nothing while they tended to me. We both know what I did. Yet he stayed with me anyway. Even after I broke his promise he made sure I was okay.

 _He's wounded. More than anything. More than being angry._

I redirect my gaze to the ground, watching as my boots carefully maneuver around the staged flowers which are laid out in a path leading to the woman's burial site. Someone falls into line beside me and I peer up, dread instantly sinking into my stomach as I recognize his shoulder-length hair and strong build.

Redge stares dead ahead, seemingly lost in his mourning. The agony twisted into his expression is absolutely heart-wrenching. His eyes are an angry red and puffy. He's not crying at the moment but I suspect that's because he's already done enough of that that there are no more tears left in his body.

His previous confident, broad shoulders are hunched forward in defeat, face once full of determination is now hollow and lost.

He still wears his wedding ring.

I hastily look away from his torturous face, not strong enough to handle the pain in his eyes.

"We were trying," his soft voice snaps me into attention. I wait. Giving him time. Listening silently, patiently for all that he wants to say to be said. "For a baby, I mean. Eliza wanted one so badly and I was all too willing to give her one. For 3 years it was simply…nothing. No matter how hard we tried she just couldn't get pregnant. About 6 months ago she finally did but had a miscarriage." A ghost of a smile kisses his lips. "You'd think that would put her down but no. It motivated her really because then we _knew_ , we _knew_ it could work. It happened once so it's bound to happen again and then we can _finally_ have a baby. That's why we were so adamant to be put as your bodyguards in the District trips. Eliza thought if all else fails, if on the off chance we don't get pregnant again, we can at least protect someone who is and that someone being the Mockingjay no less.

"Look, what-what I came over here to say is that you can trust me. I'm going to protect you, protect your baby with my life. Just because Eliza-" he cuts himself off, almost choking on his words. "J-just because of what happened to…her doesn't change the fact that I have a job, a duty to do. It doesn't change the fact that I still want the rebellion or that because my wife sacrificed her life for you, for the Mockingjay, means I'm giving up. Not on you Katniss Everdeen. Not on your baby. Besides, it worked didn't it?" Tears pool into his eyes now as he finally meets my gaze. "Hope was restored in 9, we got the girl out, and you're still here. The mission was a success. We're one step closer to freedom." He nods. "We knew the risks already. We were prepared to die for you so don't feel guilty that it actually happened. Eliza had an honorable death in saving you. I don't think she would have had it any other way."

Pushing the wave of emotions down my throat I nod my acceptance. "Thank you," I barely croak out. "Thank you so much Redge. You don't know how much that means."

He grins the tiniest of grins, though slightly pained it's still genuine. "Thank _you_ Katniss Everdeen." Without further words he strides forward, head held high as he makes a beeline for his wife's casket if only to be by her side for a few minutes longer before they lower her into the ground.

* * *

A solemn moment of silence has taken root down the war conferences walls as the last of us arrive, door banging shut. The hush spreads towards the middle of the room, surfing along the sleek table until eventually all chattering ceases.

I meet the eyes of Plutarch Heavensbee where he stands at the front wearing a sympathetic expression, a stack of papers in hand. The President of District 13 is beside him, but instead of a look of compassion for Eliza, she's stone cold. All business despite the fact that we're still in our funeral clothing and the ceremony ended only minutes ago.

There's an awkward pause before the former Gamemaker finally speaks, his words slow and attentive. Almost regretful, like he knows as everyone else does besides Coin, that we shouldn't be here. That we deserve a day to mourn. If not that then Eliza should get this time dedicated to her at least out of respect.

"If it is not clear already we have suffered a great lose recently and I give all my condolences to Eliza's loved ones. But the rebellion does not come without risk, we know that, and we must be able to surge forward with our plans. That being said there is no time to waste.

"The District 9 mission was an overall success. But it's not enough. We need more Districts to rejoin the cause or we'll never stand a chance against President Snow. As of right now the following, are in support and ready to do whatever it takes to win, Districts 7, 9, 11, and 12-"

"12!?" I pipe up, almost being able to convince myself that I misheard. "How can that be? We've almost never showed outright investment into the rebellion and now suddenly they're all aboard? That's-I don't know…seems unlikely. We've always been one of poorest and weakest Districts with not a lot of strength or willpower because of it. How are we suddenly joining the cause out of the blue?"

Plutarch nods along, taking in my words before choosing his next ones carefully. "It is a bit hard to believe but since you and Gale have been gone a lot has changed. Haymitch has been doing good work there starting with the help of Mr. Hawthorne's mining companions and spreading onward towards the rest of the people from your district. The fact that the two of you were also a large competitor in the black market and the best, most ambiguous hunters around, contributed greatly. It was your confession, Katniss that really gave the push Haymitch needed to start in on his plan."

I looked to my boyfriend who's beginning to ponder Plutarch's speech, as if searching to confirm that what he's saying is a possibility.

It makes sense. Starting with Gale's friends from the mines. He often recounted their conversations to me in the woods. They talked about change and uprisings. Haymitch is easy to believe. He's always one step ahead even when we think he's not. I can only imagine what he's done to rally the others. Then my confession must have hit home right in the heart. Seeing two of 12's own people with a notable reputation up there on the screen, declaring the truth instead of hiding behind more lies as we tend to do for a cover-up.

But there's one thing that's bugging me about the whole situation…

Gale stands abruptly. The muscles in his back are rigid as if he's been stalking his prey for hours and is finally ready to strike. His lips are pulled back in a snare, eyes dead set on President Coin who gazes back at him, completely unfazed.

"How do you know?" he inquires, voice holding barely constricted fury. "How do you know the progress 12 has made? You told us the reports stopped coming in, that the cameras were shut down! How did you know, Coin?"

It clicks. I'm suddenly on my feet, rounding up next to Gale, all too eager to gain answers as well.

The president straightens her back, sending us both level stares. "I told what you needed to hear for the sake of the rebellion-"

"You lied!" I accuse in outrage. "You withheld information from us, about our home, our _families_! I've been out of my mind with worry and you sat back and did nothing! They could've been dead for all I knew."

"We never would've let that happen."

"How was I supposed to know that!? You didn't bother to tell us!"

"The cameras never went out, did they?" Gale asks, arms crossed over his chest. "The reports kept coming also, right? So you lied to us about that too. For what cause?"

Coin clears her throat, turning away. "That's confidential information."

"Bull," he snaps instantly. "You either tell me now or I'll find out myself."

"You have no access to-"

"I'll find a way! Don't test me. Not when it comes to my family."

"General Hawthorne, the manner in which you're speaking is borderline treason. If you continue to do so I will have you stripped of your title effectively immediately."

Rage suddenly fuels my veins as I take an act of protest for Gale. "BUT-"

"Dismissed!" Coin commands before I can continue. "Since we've so _blatantly_ sidetracked from the original conversation I am forced to terminate this meeting for the time being considering the now late hour. We will resume tomorrow morning with more pressing issues. I expect everyone to head back to their rooms or you will be arrested for breaking curfew and spend the rest of your night in a prison cell. Goodnight all." With that we're ushered out of the room by several guards much to Johanna's and Beetee's displeasure.

* * *

The steam from the shower is still floating through the air when I finish ringing my wet hair out. I lightly comb through the tangled locks, calling out softly while doing so, "Gale." Slipping on one of his larger t-shirts I pad into the tiny den, leaning up against the doorframe to our bedroom. My gaze lands on his lean frame fitted into one of the chairs.

I admire him for a moment, letting my eyes appreciate his handsomeness. For a second I feel practically giddy knowing he's mine as I am his. I love-bask in- having the ability to reach out and hold him whenever I please, or slide my fingers through his thick hair.

A warmth spreads through me as I think about tracing his swollen lips with the pad of my thumb after we break for oxygen from an intense kiss.

In a perfect world I'd be in his arms right now, mindlessly listing out baby names as he rubs circles against my tummy, occasionally leaning down to press a kiss to my swollen stomach before giving me my own on the lips. Not that there hasn't been nights where that's occurred-there has- I just wish it could be happening again, now, instead of the ongoing tension between us.

Since I arrived back from 9 yesterday and he rushed to my side during examination-after finding out from someone that I had left-we haven't discussed the breaking of our promise but I know it's bound to be brought up sometime.

"Gale..." I trail off softly, desperately grasping for his attention.

"Gale." Nothing. "Look, I'm-" My breath catches in my throat for a moment, forcing me to let out a deep sigh before continuing. "Look, I'm not going to apologize for going out in the field. I know I did the right thing on that front but I _am_ sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to, I know you know that. It's just...you wouldn't have ever let this go and I had to do this on my own without you interfering. I know, trust me, I _know_ that you don't want anything to happen to me or our baby but you need to listen to reason, to the facts that-"

"Oh, like the fact that you deliberately lied to me, went behind my back, then got yourself in the middle of a gun pissing match with peacekeepers even though everyone has constantly preached about how safe you would be if you went?" he fires back. "What would've happened if you hit your head a little bit harder on the concrete when you fell? What kind of damage would that have made? Or how about what would've happened if Eliza hadn't knocked you out of the way and the bullet killed you instead?"

"I _had_ to go, Gale. By the time our baby is born the rebellion could've already gone down the drain completely and there would be no hope for us, or anyone. We'd be right back at square one."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you. Who's to say it would've lasted? We never know Gale and I wasn't willing to take the risk of waiting."

He shakes his head, replying softly, "Eliza died Katniss. _You_ could've died. It could've been _you_. It was _so close_ to it _being_ you, Katniss and that-that scares me to death. I can't lose you."

"You won't-"

"You shouldn't have gone!" Gale suddenly bursts firmly, as if he's finally made up his mind about how he feels.

I match his tone, becoming increasingly defensive as he continues to not see my side of things (or maybe he does and just won't admit it). "You don't make my decisions for me Gale, nor do you have the ability to hold me back from something I know needs to be done! It was my choice to do this! _My_ choice to put myself at risk! You can't control me dammit!"

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, bending forward to push his head into his palms, "I know. _Fuck,_ I _know_. I don't want to control you but you have to listen to reason also. You're so stuck on moving ahead that you don't stop to think about the consequences, to make a plan of action ahead of time instead of recklessly jumping into things like you've been doing. I'm trying to think from both sides but it's hard when it almost seems like you don't even care about what happens to you or the baby and that _hurts_ Catnip. It freaking hurts to think about something happening to both of you because you didn't _care_ enough."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. A hurricane sweeping through my body, slowly destroying everything within its path. It's like a thousand track jacker stings to the heart. I can't believe he said that.

Hell, I can't believe he _thinks_ that.

I jump to reassure him that what he said isn't the case, that I love him and I don't want to see him in pain. To tell him it hurts that he hurts and to see him like this is even worse. I didn't want this. I hadn't guessed what my actions would look like to him.

"I _do_ care. I _do_ , I swear on it."

"Well it seemed like you didn't." He shakes his head in dismissal, directed more at himself than me "I just don't know what to do anymore Catnip...What to tell you..."

Seemingly invisible, iron bars wrap around my torso, constricting until my ribs turn to dust and my lungs are pushed up my throat in a tightly knitted ball.

My knees bounce, fingers tapping at my sides in a futile attempt to distract myself from the storm of emotions crawling through my system, accompanied with sorrowful tears pinching at the corners of my already glistening wet eyes.

"Tell me you understand," I beg with a voice that rattles and waves from high to low. "Tell me that you're able to forgive me. That even though you're aggravated you're here with me-"

"I always am," he interrupts, a feeling of longing, determination, and something else undeniably special-possessed only for me- that I can't quite identify yet, worms its way into his tone. "I could never leave you even if I wanted, you know that. I never would anyway. Never. Never."

A traitorous tear slips down my cheek while nodding, absently agreeing as guilt dubs me over emotional.

"Gale." I reach out to comfort him for the sake of us both but he instantly shakes his head, turning away from me and pressing his body further into the chair.

In a last attempt I allow the words to flow past my lips softly, brokenly, without thought. "Tell me you love me... _please_. I need to hear it."

A beat. A pause. Nothing.

Until a quiet, "I need to think."

That does it.

With ice for a heart, and weights for my limbs, and dust for my breath, and scorching flames for my lungs-I leave him be.

* * *

Later, in the wee hours of the morning, I lie awake, wishing for sleep to envelope my mind even though a part of me has long since given up on the act of blissfully falling.

It's now that I finally feel Gale slip into bed, attempting to be as silent as he can for fear of waking me. Little did he know…

Automatically, his arms snake around my body, anchoring himself to me as if it's the most natural thing in the world. His closeness takes me by surprise. I hadn't thought he'd do this after our talk-if you can even call it that-last night. But he does.

With a soft, lingering kiss to my shoulder, he buries his head into the crook of my neck, lips grazing my skin in the most wonderful way possible before he mumbles a muffled, "I love you."

Sleep does find me eventually, and this time, it takes me with a smile gracing my features.

Things aren't sorted or fixed, nor forgotten or forgiven between us, not by a long shot, but at least I know everything will be okay. Everything will fall into place…eventually.

* * *

 **So tell me what you think! I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to add that very last part with Gale getting into bed and all that but I decided to put it in anyway so let me know if it seems rushed. Feel free to point out any mistakes!**


	7. Chapter 7: Caught

**Chapter 7: Caught.**

 **Unknown POV.**

I'll give them one thing-at least it isn't snowing. It's still damn cold though.

To be honest it's a bit unpractical to be fighting in this type of environment but I guess the rebellion can't exactly wait for a weather change now. Especially here.

This seems to be the most vicious District I've been to so far. The good thing is that it actually works in my favor. Provides more distraction so I can easily slip by without being sighted. Everyone knows Snow has a hawk's eye. It's hard enough stepping out of my house, much less traveling across the country.

Pulling the poor excuse of a coat tighter around my body, I secure the hood, making sure all you can see is the tip of my chin.

Just a bit farther. I can do this.

 _For them. For them._ I chant, they being the only motivation in my mind, the only reason I'm even agreeing to contribute to the rebellion.

 _Even if there isn't any true love-the kind that I want-in their hearts for me._

My mood sours further at the thought.

 _Whatever. It doesn't matter right now. Just do the job and get home._

My breath puffs out in a white fog around my mouth. If I breathe in deep enough I can feel my lungs being stabbed with icy knives of the biting chill.

I always liked winter, especially when the family could finally have peace in the house for once. We'd all sit around the fire, counting down the days until Christmas. Now I'm not too sure.

A bottle of man-made explosives is tossed from someone to my right. It lands a few buildings down, fire instantly sparking, engulfing the small cottage as Peacekeepers storm out from their shelter, desperately trying to escape from the licking flames which nick at their tails.

They look distraught, uncoherent, disarranged in ripped, muddy uniforms, and helmetless heads. You can see their faces clearly. Even now you still catch the small look of surprise in their expression at someone having the guts to defy them once more, despite the fact that they've lost control of this District long ago. It's manic. Rebellion in full swing here.

Out of nowhere 11 townspeople sprint towards the Peacekeepers with weapons and battle cries.

The girl to my right, the bomb thrower-who can't be that much younger than me-sends a respected nod my way, easily assuming I'm one of them. I nod back, slight, small, curt before hurrying on my way, stretching more distance between the slaughter happening a few feet away and myself.

 _Three hundred paces from the purple plant, then take a left at the next corner. A right, another right, one more, five hundred paces forward, merge to sidewalk on the left, eight more paces, location sighted._

The words echo in my mind as I do as told, not wanting to get lost in the chaos and destruction of this place.

When I arrive I'm left standing in front of a rundown building.

Most of the structures in 11 haven't been so lucky with the ongoing battles taking place but this isn't even close to the ruins I've seen on some.

It's a small, plain, rectangular house, with dusty concert walls and tattered t-shirts acting as curtains on the busted windows. There's a whole chunk of the roof missing, its damaged parts crumbling down in a slant with most of the debris having fallen, scattered around the home.

I make my way up, quickly crossing the dying grass before climbing through one of the windows. Perched on the seal I knock twice against the wall, wait 5 seconds, then repeat. It's 11's signal to let others know it's not a Peacekeeper entering so people won't attack...or so I've been told.

Climbing down the rest of the way I'm met with a grimy, barren room. All except for the dark-skinned figure in the corner whose back is facing me.

I had imagined him a bit smaller but no. He's huge, taller than me which was expected but he's much more muscular than I thought. It's almost scary. If it weren't for the stump on his arm where a hand is supposed to rest I could've mistaken him for-

 _No. Don't think about that. Not now._

Ignoring my thoughts I take a step forward, making a move to speak when the man beats me to it.

"About damn time kid. I've been waitin a century for you to get your scrawny, pale ass out here. What took you so long?"

Shaking off his digs I reply with my rehearsed line, "Hello. I'm here on invitation from various people within our system. My name is-"

"I know who you are, kid."

I huff, none too happy at the interruption, but that doesn't stop me from voicing my next line. "Chaff Daken, we formally invite you to join the VMJ project. Do you accept?"

The man finally turns, sending me a toothy grin, mischief dancing in his dark brown eyes. "Thought you'd never ask, Lover boy."

* * *

 **Katniss' POV.**

The first ones name was Bella. Then came Ty, before ending with Abi.

They were all pretty girls of various shapes and sizes, completely different looks but they had one thing in common-their love for Steel. Now I doubt all of them were in love with him still yet they cared as if he were a part of their hearts having gone missing.

On three seprate occasions I was visited by each one while helping and chatting to others. They sobbed until I thought they were going to pass out, talking about how great a man he was, and thanking me for sticking with him in the end. By the time the third one came around I was almost about ready to cry myself.

Bella, Ty, and Abi were Steel's (my former ally who died in the glass maze) famous ex-girlfriends which he babbled on about in the Quarter Quell. I gave them support the best I could until they finally walked away, leaving me to my job.

We're in District 5 now. It's only been a few days since Eliza's death but Coin insisted we needed to solider on so here we are. I expected Steel's family to come up to me after his girlfriend's but apparently his cousin, the Victor he was reaped with, was the only member he had left.

By the time the sun was setting I was exhausted. I've been on my feet all day, sneaking around house to house in order to reach as many people, and spread as much hope and supplies as I could. It was a good day's work, just tiring.

Leaning back into the fallen tree log I gaze out upon District 5 from where I sit atop one of their tallest hills.

The team has been given a break until we begin packing up then heading home.

I allow myself to sink into the silence, subconsciously rubbing my belly as I feel my baby girl start to act up again, kicking a bit harder each time. Despite her slight, almost violent, activity going on at the moment I smile, basking in the fuzzy feeling that spreads through me at the knowledge that she's mine. My baby, Gale's baby, our little life. Simply just a ball of innocence who hasn't seen a day of suffering and after we win this rebellion I have no intention on her experiencing any such thing.

There's a rustling noise to my side which demands my attention. I turn, watching as Gale emerges, striding to where I sit before taking a seat beside me. Out of habit I instantly lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder. His tense body seems to relax at my touch, his hand easily finding mine as he entwines our fingers.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Redge, Eng, and Jack discreetly going off their own way in order to give us some privacy. They know Gale will protect me no matter what if something were to happen.

After receiving the news that I was to travel to yet another District my boyfriend had immediately tagged along, no questions asked. I can't help but be happy for the fact. I've been feeling as if I'm going to drop dead at the amount of physical labor we've done today and if he wasn't here I'm sure I would've.

"You still mad?" I ask quietly, the burning question having been searing through my brain all day since our fight.

He shakes his head, after a hesitant pause replying, "No. General Odom showed me the stats. The rebellion has sparked back alive by a land mile and you've only been to two Districts so far. News is spreading fast and after seeing what you've done for the people here today I know, without a doubt, that this needs to be done, that you need to do this and I have to let you without bitching about it." He sighs. "Then Eliza...Lives are gonna be lost, plain and simple. We know that. It's obvious."

Gale tilts my chin so I'm looking into his striking grey eyes which hold more affection than I've ever seen someone look at me with. "But as long as it's not your life, I'm okay."

His words melt me to the core, breaking down any barriers I had up. Kissing his palm I crawl onto his lap in a straddle, my body snuggling into his automatically. He holds me tightly, as close as he can. Our foreheads pressed together, my hand stroking his cheek as I use my other to cling to him for dear life.

I grin, tracing his lips with my fingertips like he's done so many times with me. "I love you too," I murmur, just as my lips meet his in a kiss that has sparks flying every which way.

We kiss like we live, like we love, as if every breath will be our last and our need to savoir the small moment is so strong nothing could get in the way of us. Not even President Snow.

It doesn't take long for the kiss to lose any ounce of innocence it may have held before, morphing into a fiery fit of passion as our desperation for each other becomes too great.

"Gale," I whimper against his lips, grasping at his hair and tugging on the ends causing him to groan, fingers now digging painfully into my thighs.

Just as his mouth is traveling down my throat, hips rolling up in search for any kind of friction an annoyed voice interrupts us. "We literally leave you two alone for 10 minutes and you're already trying to claw each other's clothes off. She's already knocked up. What more do you want?"

We pause, freezing in place, hoping on some insane level that if we don't acknowledge her presence she'll simply vanish. Unfortunately this isn't the case.

Sighing reluctantly I allow Gale to pull away from our lip-lock but he doesn't make any indication of planning on letting me out of his hold any time soon. Can't say I mind all that much.

"What? Jealous, Johanna?" he calls over my shoulder. "If you wanna join so badly all you have to is ask. There's room right here."

Wide eyed I clamp a hand over my boyfriend's foul mouth, burying my head into his chest to hide my flaming cheeks.

He easily preys my fingers of off him, throwing his head back in laughter at my embarrassment.

I slap his chest, mumbling, "Stop it."

"Yes, please, stop," Johanna chimes in. I can practically feel the scowl on her face. "You sounded a little like Finnick just then. You two really need to stop spending time together."

"Is there a reason you interrupted us?"

I climb off of Gale then, turning just in time to see her roll her eyes. "We're starting to pack up then we'll head out."

"How'd it go?" I ask instantly. "Was what I did enough?"

"Yep, 100%. Without a doubt." She smiles a bit. "You did good today Katniss."

Pride washes over me as I nod.

The Victor's expression suddenly falls though, turning deadly serious causing both Gale and I to frown at the abrupt change in mood. "Look-" She glances around as if to make sure no one's listening before stepping closer to us, lowering her voice. "We need to talk. All of us. Me, you, Gale, Finnick, Beetee. I can't tell you what about but it's important. We'll meet up in 13, a few hours after we get back. In my room, got it?"  
Gale and I nod simultaneously, both of us sharing quick worried looks.

Johanna sighs in relief. "Good. Just make sure you don't get caught."

* * *

 **Kinda IMPORTANT message here!**

 **Okay, I need help picking out names for Katniss and Gale's baby.**

 **I have a few in mind but I'm not sure about them.**

 **1\. Charlotte**

 **2\. Scarlett**

 **3\. Katya (pronounced Kaa-tih-uh)**

 **4\. Kyra (pronounced just as it looks. Like Kyle but only the Ky and then Ra. Kyra)**

 **5\. Iris**

 **Now you don't have to pick from this list. If you have any suggestions I'm open to all of them. But yeah, feel free to review saying which one you like best or giving a name yourself. Also if there are any mistakes in this chapter point them out and I'll fix it right away. Thank you!**


	8. Chapter 8: Home

**Alright so after some consideration and a BUNCH of research (yes I literally researched each name to make sure I picked the right one) I've officially decided on the name of Katniss and Gale's baby! Of course I won't be telling what it is until that chapter comes...**

 **Speaking of chapters this one is extremely overdue and I'm so sorry about that. I would like to say I have a valid excuse for it being late but I don't. Anyway enjoy and have a happy Thanksgiving break unless you don't live in the U.S. then have a happy week nonetheless!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Home.**

The muted grey hallways are silent as Finnick shuts the door to Johanna's room behind us. I immediately lean up against the wall, eyes falling shut with the information we've just been told running through my mind.

There's the vague sound of feet shuffling away before I'm gently anchored to Gale's chest, his arms resting comfortably around me. His fingers press small circles into my lower back causing a sense of tranquility to warm my system instantly. After a moment I gaze up at him as he pushes a strand of dark hair away from my face.

"You okay?" he asks quietly, voice soft.

I nod. "Just worried I guess. You should catch up with Finnick and Beetee. They're going to need help moving the boxes to the kitchen. I still can't believe Odair forgot. He had one job."

Gale chuckles lightly, placing a lingering kiss to my forehead. "I'll be back at our room in a few."

"Okay."

The last thing I see is Gale's retreating back turning the corner before he vanishes from my sight completely.

It's been hours since we arrived back in 13, even longer than that when Johanna caught Gale and I making out on the hill in District 5 and told us to meet in her apartment after curfew. It didn't take long for her to spill some confidential government secrets that Coin had so lovingly left out.

What Johanna told us…it just didn't seem…right. The pieces don't add up. It makes sense that Coin would do something involving with the progression of the rebellion without telling me, but this? It doesn't make sense. I mean, rounding up all the Victors? Rescuing them was already within my conditions while starting to visit the Districts but what she wants to do with them after they get here...It seems a bit too risky for her taste. I'm not saying it won't work. Gathering all the willing, loyal Victors then distributing them out to the Districts to help the people train in fighting against the Capital and keeping the rebellion alive after I've reignited the spark is good strategy. But not Coin's. It must've been Plutarch's idea and he somehow got her on board. Yet, why keep it a secret from Gale and I?

Shaking the thoughts from my mind I continue down the hall, hurrying through the twists and turns that it takes to get back to our room in an awkward half walk half jog.

The faster I get back without being seen the b- I abruptly trip, hands coming to slam up against the wall by my head in a desperate attempt not to tumble over. "Motherfu-" Instead of finishing I let out low groan to spare the ears of the tiny boy in front of me who almost caused my downfall.

The child, that can't be more than two, blinks up at me as if this is the most normal thing ever, as if it's not past curfew and he's utterly alone but all is good.

Concern floods through me instantly. I carefully bend down to his level, about to ask where his parents are when he silently holds out District 13's silver bottle for me to hold.

"O-oh," I say, gently taking it from his tiny hands, completely caught off guard by the boy's presence. "Do you want me to open this?" He nods slowly.

Assuming it must be his I try twisting what I think is the lid off to no prevail. There's a small top part with a rounded shape on it so I try pulling on that next. _It has to be the mouth piece._

Just as I'm tugging the whole thing breaks off, clattering to the ground, and not even opening the damn thing.

At once, tears form in the boy's eyes and he lets out a loud wail. "Hey, hey. No, it's okay. It's okay." I frantically coo with my best soothing voice in a desperate attempt to make him stop. "I didn't mean for it to break. Look, we can fix it, alright? Let's just go find your mom first." When he continues crying I reach out for him, planning to pull him in close like I used to do with Prim when she got upset, but as I do he jerks away, tripping, and falling to his back.

His wails become louder. I freeze in shock, mouth ajar. Before I know it a woman, who I can only assume is his mother, comes rushing down the hallway.

"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright," she cuts me off, briskly picking the sobbing boy up and stalking away.

But not before I get a glimpse of her blood-shot eyes.

I stand, speechless. _What the hell just happened?_

I stay rooted to the spot, unmoving as I process what took place a few moments ago.

Finally, with the shake of my head I rake a hand through my dark tangles.

 _It's too late for this._ I'm way too tired to ponder on the situation anyway. _I'll just tell Gale about it later._

I continue walking but luck doesn't seem to be on my side because as I'm turning the corner my nose is met with the hard uniformed chest of a night guard.

His eyes narrow at my presence. "Miss Everdeen, what are you doing out of your room? Its past curfew. You're aware of the consequences to breaking rules, correct?"

My mind races to think of a plausible lie. "Yes. Of course. It's-"

"And what is that?" His gaze is now on the container in my hand which I hadn't even noticed I still had. "You realize no food or drinks are allowed outside the cafeteria? That is a serious violation, Miss Everdeen. Larger than breaking curfew."

"I know but this isn't mine."

He raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Well then whose is it?"

"The-"

Before I get a chance to reply he snatches the cup from my hand. Obviously knowing more about District 13's containers than me he presses a small button on the side which pops the real lid open. Catching a glimpse inside his eyes widen in shock for a split second before going blank. Without a second thought he roughly grabs me, twisting my body so my back is pressed against his chest.

"Katniss Everdeen, you're under arrest."

* * *

It takes me three hours to forget where I am. Three hours of laying on this freezing, rigid, metal hell piece of a bed until the fury inside me melts, exhaustion taking its place. Three hours until I finally come to terms with my situation and to let the blessing silence in helping my eyelids drupe, sleep steadily overcoming my aching body.

For a moment all is quiet. All is peaceful. Not even my thoughts being able to disturb the tranquil atmosphere… That is until a certain President goes and ruins it.

Her voice clears obnoxiously loud among the silence and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I can identify it right away.

With a heavy sigh I call out, "What do you want Coin? I'm trying to sleep."

The small click of heels notifies me that she's stepped closer to my cell doors. "Miss Everdeen, would you please be so kind as to sit up?"

"No."

Minutes tick by of nothing but her impatient tapping of the foot before I finally give in, letting the arm covering my eyes to drop, fingers lightly brushing the cool tile before sitting up against the wall.

She's in her signature grey suit, hair pulled back in a tight bun that makes the skin on her face strain. I mimic her folded arms, daring eyes connecting with her own. "Happy?"

Coin steps forward once more. "Miss Everdeen are you aware of your charges?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes. _Obviously._ How can I not be when I'm here? Now where's Gale? Or are you here to come bail me out?"

Her lips purse, tongue clicking. The President's eyes train my every move like a lion stalking its prey. "He knows your crimes and containment but seeing as General Hawthorne is of ranking it would be a misuse of power to release someone so personally close to him without their proper consciences being carried out to full term."

"Oh, come on Coin! You know that bottle wasn't mine! I'm pregnant for heaven's sake! Do you honestly think I would be taking weed!?"

"No, of course not! It was that poor boy's mothers. He must have gotten a hold of it from her somehow. Apparently she works down in the farming industry of 13 and has been part of the illegal drug trading here. She's since been caught and convicted to our more permanent prison. As for the boy, he's within the custody of his aunt so _no,_ Miss Everdeen. I'm completely positive that you wouldn't put your child in that kind of danger but roaming the halls after curfew remains a violation to our laws!"

"Still a shitty crime to still have me locked in a cell for hours on end!"

"What were you doing coming out of Johanna's room?"

I halt, take a breath, then sit back with a light smirk on my face. "So _that's_ what this is really about. Well too bad for you because I have no idea what you're talking about." Like I'm gonna tell her what Johanna told me. Coin wasn't planning on sharing the information about the Victors with Gale and I anyway and I'm not going to be ratting Johanna out anytime soon. As far as anyone but her, Gale, Beetee, and Finnick are concerned I'm totally ignorant.

The President's eyes harden. "Don't lie. We have tape of you walking down the hallway out of Ms. Mason's room after curfew. What were you two doing?"

"Gossiping," I deadpan.

"If you're not going to be serious-"

"And if you're going to keep integrating me on things I know nothing about then will you please save us both the time and let me go? I'm sure I have a worried a boyfriend back home who I'd like to see."

Her cold, calculating gaze stares me down for a few moments more before she jerks her head to the side, signaling guards to unlock my cell. They do as told but before I can exit Coin takes a step in. The doors close back behind her immediately.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Well." She drags the chair from the corner, taking a seat. "Since you missed the emergency meeting a few hours ago due to being in…" She waves a lazy hand in the air. "Here and you're not going to cooperate with my questioning then I suppose I'll enlighten you on all that's been going on, yes?"

The urge to slap that smug grin off her face is almost too strong yet I'm able to contain myself, leaning against the white brick walls. "Fine. Yes."

"Good." That damn smile finally fades, being replaced by an emotionless mask as she slips into a more professional tone. "Because we're sending you home."

With five words my veins freeze over, my heart stops, and my world spins out of control whether from shock or joy, I'm not sure anymore.

 _I'm going home._


	9. Chapter 9: Horror

**Chapter 9: Horror.**

"Alright, let's check up on your little nameless baby, shall we?" Doctor Howdon sends a cheeky grin my way which causes his warm brown eyes to crinkle. Rolling my shirt up the older man squirts the usual gel onto my stomach. I use my arm to prop my head up to get a better look at the screen. My other hand cards through Gale's hair, lightly playing with the strands from where he sits next to me, his gaze also on the monitor as he absentmindedly traces random patterns across my ribcage.

A small smile instantly graces my lips as our baby appears. Doctor Howdon moves the transducer across my stomach, allowing us a few minutes to enjoy the view, occasionally pointing out some limbs and positions she's in.

Gale abruptly stands after a while, leaning over and peppering light kisses across my face causing me to laugh at the sensation. He pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing." He places a hand across my stomach, giving me a chaste kiss. "I'm just happy. I have you. We have her..."

Beaming I roll my eyes playfully, whispering a small 'me too' before pushing him back to his rightful seat, a stupid, boyish grin spread across his lips.

Doctor Howdon redirects his attention to us, having turned away to gift us some privacy during our abrupt show of affection. Normally I don't like PDA but at this moment I can't bring myself to care.

After listening to her heartbeat on request for what seems to be the thousandth time Howdon asks me some routine questions before looking over my information from the physical exam he did earlier.

A frown etches his features, automatically doing the same to mine and Gale's.

Our hands tighten around one another's as my boyfriend speaks up. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"Well…Katniss your weight isn't up to where I want it to be which is understandable considering how you grew up without much food but I hoped with the diet we put you on it would help. Seems I was wrong. You're still too unweight in my standards for me not to have concerns. We'll need to up your proportions. I'll get into contact with the kitchen right away. Make sure you're eating everything on your tray." He emphasizes with a stern expression to which I nod.

"Your blood pressure is also a little low but we can easily take care of that. I fear though that you're under too much pressure, stressed really. I know you're our Mockingjay with a rebellion on your hands but more downtime would be good for you. If you could find a relaxing activity you could do daily it would help tremendously. You're still exercising to be in better shape so you can go out into the field more after you have your baby, yes? Well I don't want you doing that anymore. No more straining your body unless necessary which means District missions will need to come to halt until you give birth and then some. I'm assuming the training is under President Coin's orders so I'll talk to her to get things sorted out."

"But what about Katniss' visit home? We could be leaving at any time. We're just waiting for the call."

"Yeah," I agree. "I _have_ to see my family. Not going isn't an option."

It's been an ongoing waiting game since Coin told me I was going to be going home. Apparently it's too dangerous to bring my family back to 13 at the moment-as that was in my conditions-but the least they could offer for me was a short, few hour, visit to 12 before returning here. At this point I'll take what I can get.

How are they pulling this off even though President Snow is watching my family like a hawk?

Well the blockage within the Capital's system has suddenly fallen allowing Beetee enough time to hack into their data base and plant a seed that will feed us information involving their plans for eliminating the rebellion. Fortunately since this happened then that means Wiress has stopped operating their system because she's the one that put a shield up in the first place, against her will of course but still. This means they're probably holding her off for something more important or she's fighting back (there's no way in hell they've killed her, we've scratched that off the list, she's too valuable to them) except now that we've hacked back into their system they have nothing to hide, including Wiress' location.

To make sure they don't use her again 13 is sending a rescue mission to the Capital in order to obtain the Victor and bring her back here. This acts as a distraction to give me time in seeing my family. It's killing two birds with one stone.

District 13 has decided to send their best soldiers for this rescue mission which included Gale who would end up leading the operation. I was terrified when I heard but seconds later relief was all I could feel when he refused, claiming it was too close to my due date for him to be running off and may not be making it back. If he was going to die for the rebellion or anything of the sort he "wants to see his baby girl at least once". Completely his words. I'm not going to say I didn't melt a little bit inside upon hearing it.

After a lot of auguring Coin finally agreed. Now instead the head of the mission was handed to Boggs with Gale doing the planning for the operation.

We're still waiting on news about my departure. It could come at any time. It just depends on when they send the rescue team out and how it goes in the beginning to determine if it'll be successful enough to get Wiress and act as a distraction in order for me to go, if not, then I'm not seeing my family.

Doctor Howdon sighs. "Then it would have to be now. You're five weeks away from your due date Miss Everdeen. After this week, _maybe_ next I'd feel more comfortable not risking it. You'll have to pray you go sometime very soon or after she's born but even then I'm not sure you'll go. It'll be too dangerous to bring her to 12 and I know the both of you don't want to be separated from her unless absolutely necessary."

As if on some miracle Gale's communicuff beeps loudly. He peers down at it, quickly scanning the message. "Looks like we don't need to pray." He meets my eye. "It's time to go home Catnip."

* * *

The hovercraft's walls whirl with astounding noise as we come to an abrupt halt just mere inches from the ground. My hands tighten on the armrest, knuckles seeing white as anxiousness washes over me.

Gale notices, walking over to where I sit, still strapped into the seat and bending down to his knees. "Catnip," he calls lightly, grasping my hand. "You okay? Are you sure you can do this?"

We both know the answer to that but I nod firmly nonetheless. "Yes. Of course. Just…nervous. If something goes wrong-"

"Then I'll be right here." He taps the comm in my ear. "I'm with you the whole way. I'm above so I'll be able to tell you where all the peacekeepers are and what to avoid. We're also monitoring the rescue mission for Wiress right now. Everything is going smoothly so there shouldn't be any problems. President Snow will never know you even left 13."

Johanna rounds to my side. "You ready Everdeen? We need to do this now. We can't stay too low to the ground for long."

"Yes. Yes, of course."

Gale helps me to my feet, leading the way to the already open ramp which just barely touches the forest ground.

Before he can react I pull him in close, hugging him for dear life. "I love you," I whisper against his neck.

He plants a lingering kiss to my forehead, replying, "I love you too, Catnip. Stay safe, alright?"

We break. I give him the brightest smile I can muster despite the nerves. "Always."

* * *

When I was told District 12 had joined the rebellion I was in disbelief for multiple reasons. Ever after I still had my doubts but that's all out the window as I walk the streets of my home

There was just something in the air. Tension maybe, causal but with a fire only fighters could hold. It was still my district, it appeared the same with the same feel except this time there's an underling brewing. As if any minute we're going to explode into an uprising. At this point I wouldn't be surprised.

The few people who were out on this dreary day also seemed to walk with a bit more confidence instead of hunched over, eyes darting every which way to make sure no peacekeepers were around.

I didn't mind the shift. It gives me a sense of hope, reassurance for my home. It eases my mind to know they're willing to fight back while I'm stuck in 13 for now.

"You're almost there Catnip," Gale says, speaking through my earpiece. "There's a Peacekeeper on duty two streets over. Looks like he's heading your way. You'll have to turn left at the next corner and round about a bit before getting back on track."

"Got it," I reply doing as told until I have the Victors Village in sight.

The only problem is that I'll be in plain sight until I'm behind the gates surrounding the houses.

"Alright, when I say go, walk. Be causal, not too fast, not too slow. You might want to pull your hood up."

I nod before feeling stupid because Gale can only see a red dot on a monitor in the hovercraft that reveals my location, not my actual body.

Pulling Gale's old hoodie over my face I rumple my clothes a bit to look more like the other people in 12.

Luckily Plutarch had some of our old clothes. It was a relief when I finally got my normal jeans and fraying shirt back no matter the condition they're in. I feel safe in them, normal. Unlike being in 13's stiff uniforms that's required to be worn.

"Go."

I take off instantly, shoving my hands into my pockets and keeping my head bowed. In a matter of seconds I'm behind the gates, releasing a relieved sigh.

This time I jog as fast as my body will allow with my bulging stomach. I round around the house to enter through the back door, walking through the house as I would while hunting. Careful, aware of my surroundings in silent steps.

It isn't until I enter through kitchen that I allow sound to be made as pure joy rushes against my chest. Prim and my mother's head instantly snap my way.

A full blown beam overcomes my little sister's face and I know I look the same.

"Katniss!" she practically screams causing me to let out a choked laugh, holding back the tears that sting my eyes.

"Prim!"

She sprints to me. I begin to open my arms but my body suddenly goes rigid, expression morphing into one of horror. Prim catches my sudden change, halting in her steps now wearing a concerned frown.

"Katniss," she calls lightly, as if speaking in a way like she thinks I'm going to run out any second and she has to be careful with her words so I won't be startled. "A-are you okay? What's wrong? Katniss. Katniss! What's wrong!? What's going on!?."

I meet her eye, body buzzes with a never-ending panic.

"My water just broke."

* * *

 **Ahhhhh she's FINALLY having her baby!**

 **Just wanted to let you guys know that I have finals next week so I probably won't be doing a lot of writing but I have half of the next chapter done already. I actually started writing it before this one because I was just so excited! The next chapter will probably be up next Sunday!**

 **I also wanted to thank everyone who's reviewed, followed, etc. it means a lot to me especially since you've all stuck with the series because I know a lot of people won't follow to the second book if there is one and it baffles me that so many of you have. So just thank you for everything!**


	10. Chapter 10: Birth

**Chapter 10: Birth.**

My ears rage with a hurricane, the sea's waves whipping against my body as her haunting words echo across my being.

"My water just broke."

I'm stunned, motionless, but only for a second.

 _Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!_

Scrabbling from my seat at the monitor I sprint around like a mad man, snatching whatever weapon in sight as I arm myself in case of an emergency. Stripping with no shame I shrug on District 12 clothes in record time before smashing into the control panel, desperately pressing buttons to get the door to the hovercraft to open.

"General Hawthorn! General Hawthorn!" two guards come at me, shouting as they do.

As they crash against my back I instantly throw them off, punching one before sending a swift kick to his temple. Not hard enough to kill him but enough for him to be unconscious for the next few hours.

Turning to the other I bring her face to my knee, hearing a deafening crack of the nose before punching her in the gut repeatedly until she falls limp.

I resume my search, finding the button that signals a loud hum as the huge entrance at the end of the hovercraft lowers.

"Gale!" Johanna screams, fury and frustration lacing her face. "Fucking hell! Boy, if you don't stop right now..." There's the click of her gun at my head.

I spin, twisting her wrist until she cries out in pain and the gun clatters to the floor.

"Don't," I growl. "You can't stop me."

She glares. "Hawthorne, if you don't get your shit together and start thinking clearly I'll-"

"What!? You'll what, Johanna!? Kill me!?" I step so we're nose to nose. If looks could kill she'd be halfway down to hell by now. "My _girlfriend_ is giving _birth_ to _my baby_ and you're going to try and stop me from getting to her? What kind of twisted mind do you have?"

"A logical one," she fires back. "If you go down there and get caught by a peacekeeper you're-"

I shove past her, sprinting towards the exit and recklessly jumping out before the ramp could touch the ground with Johanna hollering after me.

I'm saved by tucking into a roll against the soft grass of our woods and disappearing through the trees. The forest is more similar to me than any other place on earth. I could know exactly where I am with two blind eyes.

My heart beats along my ears, lungs stinging as I begin to feel lightheaded but I don't stop. Not until I get to her.

 _I'm coming Katniss._

* * *

No acknowledgement whatsoever. Not even when I burst through the door in a desperate need to get to her. Not even when I rushed to her side as her eyes were wild and her heart was beating so hard I swear she could've passed out. Not even when she calmed and settled and began this excruciating process. Nothing. Nothing at all.

She's determined, I'll give her that. To the point where she hasn't uttered a word, not just to me, but to anyone.

At the moment Katniss is laid out on the bed, pillows cushioning her back so she can sit up. Her brown locks are braided haphazardly to the side (I can't help but admire the messy style) and her eyebrows are pulled together, lips pouted as her face twists into one of absolute concentration once another contraction waves through her body. I would've found her expression cute in any other situation expect she's been deadly silent through this whole thing and hasn't so much as _glanced_ in my direction.

I've heard childbirth hurts like a bitch yet to where she seems like she isn't even in this world anymore? It's killing me a bit inside.

We've been at it for hours now. The sun is beginning to set with no sign that she'll start pushing soon.

My body buzzes with nerves, heart skipping every once in a while when Katniss lets out a low groan in pain or exhaustion; I can't tell which is which anymore. I don't like seeing her like this. To not be able to do anything, lessen the hell she seems to be in, or even having felt the pain before so I'll be able to understand her position on some kind of level.

She whimpers, grasping the sheets because of the contraction causing my chest to weigh with anxiety. It passes a few moments later and Mrs. Everdeen, once more, checks how far dilated my girlfriend is.

The older woman sighs, straightening her back with a sympathetic expression across her face. "At this rate it'll be a few more hours." She pauses. "Probably more."

Katniss doesn't say anything, simply banging her head back on the pillows with a tired huff.

Her mother cleans her hands, murmuring, "I'll go make you a sandwich."

Once the door shuts a calming silence settles in the air but it does absolutely nothing for me.

I rake a hand through my hair in frustration, voice pleading, "Catnip please let me do something. There has to be one thing at least. I don't like seeing you like this." She doesn't reply. "At least _say_ something baby, dammit, _please_!"

Then, for the first time since I arrived-which was hours upon hours ago-she tilts her head. Beautiful soft grey eyes latch onto mine, filled with so many mixed emotions I don't know where to begin. She gazes at me for a moment before miraculously, _thankfully_ , reaching a hand out.

I stride across the room in a matter of seconds, instantly folding her hand within mine as I bend down to her bedside.

Kissing her knuckles I tenderly push a few matted strands of hair from her face.

Before I can say anything she goes ahead and breaks my heart with her words.

"It hurts." She sounds like a child, small, powerless. Her voice is hoarse, tired, a silent plea behind her tone that clearly begs me to make it stop, to take it all away and God do I want to. For her. Anything for her.

"I know. I know Catnip," I say gently cupping her face in my hand, rubbing soothing patterns against her cheek. "But you're doing so well and think about, that in only a few hours, we'll have our girl. Our beautiful baby girl. I'm right here with you, through everything alright?"

With a nod she leans into my touch, kissing my palm softly. "I love you Gale. Forever."

"I love you too. Forever."

She thinks for a moment. "Beautiful baby girl huh? What if she's ugly?"

I want to glare badly but the comment is so Katniss that a tiny, amused grin slips to my lips. "That's a horrible joke."

A mischievous smirk finds its way across her features. "It's always a possibility."

"No, no, it's not. My genes are too handsome for her not to be anything but radiant."

"I don't care either way," Katniss says after her quiet chuckling fades. "She could be the ugliest kid in the world to everyone else but she'd still be beauitful to me just for the fact that she's ours _."_

Climbing into bed, I slip my arms around her, kissing her atop the head as I reply softly, "Don't I know it."

* * *

It's even painful to watch. I can't begin to imagine what Katniss is going through.

She's been at it for so long that the horizon has long since dipped from the sky and the night is pitch black despite us having been here since dawn. Her mother just keeps reassuring us that it'll only be 'a few more hours' then when those pass it'll 'just be a bit longer' yet it never is and it all turns into a vicious cycle of her words.

We've done various things. Walking around the house, gathered some of our old stuff to take back to 13, updated the hovercraft on what's going on along with Plutarch then Coin, even my mom came around twice, the second time to bring supplies along with baby clothes from Possy's days and Madge, who upon hearing about our arrival, gladly gifted us with what we needed. Though both times my mother couldn't stay long for fear of causing suspicion. It was collectively decided not to tell my siblings we're here for their own sake.

You can only do so much for so long though and Katniss is right back in bed, too exhausted to do anything more other than ride this out. I can already feel the bones cracking in my hand from where she's been squeezing so tightly.

I've lost count of how many times she's hopelessly says she can't do it, she can't do it as a contraction smashes along her body. Yet every time, when it ends, she convinces herself she can once more. For just a little while longer.

* * *

Her screams are garbled, eyes shut as her nails dig into my palm, drawing blood but I could hardly care.

"It's okay. Catnip. It's okay."

"Your...fault," she seethes. "Never letting your...dick near me...again." An intake of breath.

"Alright Katniss, alright. Whatever you want," I coo, pushing the wet strands of hair from her face.

"Okay Katniss," her mother says "Just a few more seconds."

She shakes her head repeatedly, tears beginning to kiss her cheeks. "No. No," my girlfriend begs, gasping as the pain grows to its peak. "I-I can't. N-no, no more, no more."

"It'll be over soon. You just need to push for me and then you'll get your baby. Katniss, are you hearing me? You'll get to hold your daughter okay?"

She hesitates before nodding, squeezing my hand tighter as I whisper in her ear over and over again. "You can do this. I got you. I got you."

"On the count of three. One...two...three!"

Several pushes later her mother grins, cutting the cord as pulls our baby into view.

Then it's silent. Complete and utter silence that causes my heart to stop because it isn't supposed to be like this.

Where's the noise? The sobs of a newborn baby just as they're welcomed to this world? _What's wrong? What's wrong? Oh fuck she's dead! She's-_

Then there it is. Her small high pitch cry, the most incredible sound in the world, traveling across the globe, only reaching the most worthy of ears.

Catnip shoots up instantly, no matter her exhaustion and instantly reaches out to take our baby from her mothers arms. She's passed over immediately and Katniss handles her with such grace it's as if she's the most precious thing to ever live-and she most definitely is.

My girlfriend brings the small life closer, wiping her tiny face as she cradles her gently, whispering soothing words so the little ones cries begin to slowly dwindle down.

For a moment I'm struck into paralyzation because of the sheer moment of it. The shock, the love, the passion, the everything.

These two are my life and I'll do anything for them. I know it. I was already clearly whipped on Katniss but, _shit_ , when you add our baby into the mix it's like I've fallen in love all over again, this time harder, faster, deeper.

I force myself from my thoughts, scooting closer to hold both my girls. I get a better look at the gorgeous tiny human and the feeling I get upon her stormy grey eyes meeting mine is absolutely indescribable. It's all too much, yet I want more, so much more.

Burying my head into Katniss' shoulder I place a chaste kiss against her skin before looking back to our baby. "I love you Catnip. I love you so much."

Next thing I know my girlfriend's fingertips are lightly pressing against my jaw so my head turns to her as she kisses me. When we break it's as if the whole world stops as cliche as it sounds. Just by the undying love in her eyes, for me, for us, for our new family. It's enough to kill me on the spot and if that's the way I go so be it. I don't mind. "I love you too Gale."

A small shriek sounds from the miracle in Katniss' arms causing both of us to laugh, peering back down at our daughter.

She's mesmerizing, I swear. _Definitely going to be spoiling her rotten._

"Hey," Prim says attentively." "I'm going to need to take her. We have to clean her off and check her health."

Katniss cradles our baby closer to her chest. "No. No. I don't-"

"I know but we need to make sure...It's for her own good then you'll get her back. I promise."

There's a tense pause before I feel a small weight in my arms. A blinding smile twists my features as I carry our baby.

"Over here," Prim calls lightly.

Just as I'm walking away Katniss shoots her arm out, pulling me back.

"Iris," she breathes. "I want to name her Iris."

My eyebrows furrow. "Like the flowers in the meadow?"

She nods. "It's supposed to mean faith, hope, and wisdom. She's it Gale. She's our little hope."

My heart swells. "Iris it is."

* * *

"So everything's okay?"

Prim nods. "Yep. She's healthy despite being premature."

I bend to my knees, lightly stroking my daughters mop of dark hair as Prim cleans her off.

"She's beautiful," I murmur, entranced with this tiny being, as if she has me under her spell, a magic so powerful not even the most deadly of weapons could severe it.

I'm wrapped around her finger already.

"She is," Prim agrees softly. "I can't tell who she looks like most. I guess we'll have to wait and see."

"No. No, she looks like her mother." Glancing over my shoulder I find my girlfriend dead asleep, her cute nose scrunching up as if she's focusing on something extremely important.

"Hey." Nudging Prim's foot with mine I say, "You're an aunt now."

She beams. "You know what's even crazier?"

"What?"

"You're a father."

I chuckle, gazing back down to Iris just as her hand grasps my finger with surprising strength. Kissing my baby's forehead gently I can't help but agree. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."


End file.
